Establishing healthy boundaries is vital for our self-care. This action alone can save us from so much negativity, external pressure, and draw lines we should never cross. However, it’s always easier said than done. But you need to establish these boundaries, no matter how difficult they may seem at first glance.
Why we need healthy boundaries
Have you ever watched the movie with Jim Carrey “Yes Man”? Well if you didn’t, spoiler alert. The main character is filled with constant business and lack of self-respect, so one day he decides to say yes to every request he’s been given (I was there, too). Without going into the reasons why he did this, I’ll tell you why this would be an absolute disaster.
Saying yes to everything and everyone is a clear example of the lack of boundaries. If you’re having trouble with this, please don’t blame yourself, because you haven’t done anything wrong. You are just a compassionate and understanding human, and you would rather sacrifice your own well-being than cause a potential conflict, which is perfectly reasonable. But you need to draw a line somewhere.
When you say no to going out into a crowded, noisy pub, or when you say no to a social gathering where you know you will be overwhelmed, you are saying yes to yourself. You are saying yes to spending the night watching Netflix and eating ice cream, simply enjoying. You are saying yes to sweet solitude or the company of that one special person with whom you can talk about the stars or your favorite book characters. You are saying yes to what you really want to do. 🙂
This is why we need to create healthy boundaries.
It’s not your job to indulge everyone
Establishing healthy boundaries is not just about saying no, it goes much deeper. It’s when you say to your dearest ones you need some time alone, and when you need time to figure out and handle your emotions. This is one of the ultimate act of self-care we need to give ourselves.
Your true friends, the people who are meant to stay in your life will never think about your boundary as a selfish act. They will fully respect and honor it, and those who don’t? Well, then you have to ask yourself is this the friendship or a relationship that I want in my life.
It’s not your job to indulge everyone and to say yes to every demand. This is a one way ticket to overwhelm, anxiety, and lack of self-respect. When you’re saying no to something you know it will not feel comfortable, you’re saying yes to yourself and opening the doors for doing what makes you happy.
Remember, those who genuinely love you will never take your “no” as an insult. They will accept it as a sign of respect. Most importantly, they will understand, and these are the people you should have in your life.
So the next time when you’re about to make an important decision, put yourself first my dear friend. You’re not arrogant, you’re simply giving yourself the same attention that you so selflessly give to everyone else. You earned that respect from you, too.
Give a little kindness to yourself by creating boundaries that will not just benefit you and your gentle being, but also deepen those connections you have with the people you cherish the most. It will be worth it. 🙂
What’s your experience with creating healthy boundaries? As always, we would love to hear your thoughts and insights on this in the comments below!