I Don’t Play Games, Speak Your Mind!

Dear friend,

I never liked playing games. When I say games, I mean the ones where someone is literally playing with our feelings and emotions. Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to have fun sometimes, no harm in that. But the kind of games I’m talking about here always send a chill through my spine.

I don’t play games, speak your mind

The explanation for getting to the point preference comes from our trait that searches for meaning and purpose. I must emphasize once more, we love having a good laugh. But there’s a difference between fun and hurting someone. Allow me to explain.

Imagine this scenario: You like someone and you are sending signals to that person that you like them. You start letting them know this in your own unique way. But they are playing with your mind, sending mixed messages, or late-responsive ones with unclear reasons why, childish sentences, and the list goes on and on.

The situation above happened to me more times than I can count. This is why I’m always crystal clear with my intentions. I don’t play mind games that will hurt anyone’s feelings and emotions. Instead, I always insist for that individual to speak their mind and be completely honest.

I want you to remember what I’m about to say. The worst truth will hurt less than the best lie.

So the question is, why this type of behavior doesn’t suit us? Why it’s more repelling than attracting?

Honesty is attractive

The answer is because we like authenticity. We value honesty, respect, and understanding. We also fully realize that there is a small amount of people who will give us that feedback at the same level that we so selflessly give. So we just want from that person to honor how we feel and be frank with us.

There are many people that are always open for jokes and fun. But that needs to be only until the point where our emotions are not being toyed with. I consider myself to have a very broad and weird sense of humor, but I can’t laugh over a fact that someone uses my kindness in a negative way.

It doesn’t matter how young or old you are, this behavior can be universal. And in most cases, there’s no bad intent behind it. I want to believe that people mean no harm when they sometimes make jokes about how we feel. But there’s a thin line between understanding and insult.

This is why honesty can be so damn attractive! Tell us what the situation really is, and don’t play with how we feel. This acts like a magnet that will draw us closer to you. But we all have our limits when it comes to hurtful behavior. There’s an incredible quote from a famous Canadian poet Najwa Zebian that perfectly explains how we react to coldness, mean jokes, and indifference:

“Fear the day a good heart gives up on you. A heart does not turn cold unless it’s been treated with coldness for a while.”

Your heart can withstand so much, and that’s the truth. It can sustain enormous levels of being hurt, and still find a way to shine and spread the light. I like comparing it with a lighthouse that shows the way. 🙂

So give that gentle, light-spreading miracle in your chest a gift in the form of a presence of someone who will not toy with it, but cherish it. You earned that kindness. <3



How do you cope when someone makes jokes about your emotions? What’s your defense mechanism? We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

4 thoughts on “I Don’t Play Games, Speak Your Mind!”

  1. Yes. Be open. Communicate!! Don’t leave us wondering because we will imagine every possible scenario and hurt with every single one. Then our protective walls go up and you’ll wonder what changed. If you are friends with a deep sensitive person, isnt it only fair that you respect that and at least try to meet their need to know what/why SOMETIMES? I think some of what we think of as friendships are too often simply us being handy sounding boards/mentors and then they move on to their own lives til they need our guidance again. They need us to be strong on our own because they’re only looking for their own answers. No room for the emotions behind the free empathy service. Hard to imagine truly having such shallow feelings but some really do sail through life much differently than we do. I guess that’s our weakness…a very hard-to-flip off-switch on the empathy and emotions! Real to us, jokeable to others.

    1. So well said, Becky! Being direct and open really helps, as this eliminates any doubt and gives us peace of mind. Plus it can solidify a friendship, too. 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!

  2. I love this article…I feel so understood having read it! Within my family, I am pretty much the only introvert so making jokes about my emotions seemed to happen quite often. With this, I just completely shut down/put a wall up and didn’t trust anyone to take how I felt seriously. I was to the point of not sharing how I really felt about my life experiences. I’ve lived inside my head most of my life.

    Towards the end of 2017 I met a wonderful group of people. A group of people that I have been able to be vulnerable with and express how I feel about so many things. Meeting these wonderful souls has been a life altering experience for me. I’ve been able to laugh and cry with them. This is the 1st time that I’ve ever met people like this, all in the comfort of my apartment. Since I wasn’t used to being listened to/taken seriously, I didn’t have much to say in the beginning and am still pretty much that same way (I’m a woman of few words,) but I feel heard/understood/loved now. I now know that there are people out here who have open hearts and ears and that makes me feel not so alone in how I show up in the world.

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