You Are Who You Choose To Be!

Dear friend,

It’s painfully difficult to stay true to ourselves in today’s modern world. We are our own worst critics, adding this to the mixture. Every action and spoken word will go through a detailed analysis in our mind before a decision has been made. However, this way of thinking brings us to the next question…

Who are we actually? So…

How do you know who you are?

I had an interesting talk with a taxi driver recently while going to my favorite coffee shop. It’s not a long distance, but he wanted to have a more meaningful talk with me, so being an INFJ I happily accepted. 🙂

It got to a question who we are. He asked me, and I only said, I’m Marko, currently someone who is trying to figure out what is the next chapter of my life, and why I keep giving so much to those who give so little to me.

The taxi driver stopped the car (red light of course), turned his head in disbelief, and was probably thinking I am crazy. Mind you, this is Serbia we are talking about, a small country that is extremely close minded and not open to individual values and qualities. Many don’t even know what being an introvert means.

It was my turn to asking the drive who he is. And of course, he said exactly what I expected him to say. “I’m a taxi driver for 15 years, before that my company fired me, before that I worked in real estate, I have a wife, two kids, I live in a terrible neighborhood…

“This is not who you are” I said. “How so?” he replied. I told him that he only told me what is his career, what happened to him, who he loves, and where he lives, but not who he really is.

“Who are you really, when you are not driving, when you are not with your family, and when you are not in your home”?

I’ll never forget the moment when this elderly man took of his glasses and said: “I don’t know… I guess I forgot…” The sadness in his eyes is something that will stay with me for a long time. Unfortunately, he is not the only one who has this way of thinking…

Here’s the truth…

Many with whom I had the chance to speak with connect who they are with their career. Some with people who are in their life, and others with the place where they are at the moment. None of this defines you. There is zero correlation with what you do, who is your friend or partner, and where you live with who you really are. That conclusion comes from within.

So now I’m going to share with you three scary scenarios why is this mindset so terrifying. What you read here won’t be easy to digest, but I want to show you that you are enough.

  1. My work completes me. Your career and what you do is not a measurement of success. You are not what you do. Let me ask you something. If you are what you do, then what are you when you are doing nothing?
  2. This person is my other half. First of all, you are not a half. You are already a complete whole. It’s wonderful having that special someone, but you don’t need anyone to complete you, because you are already enough, a thousand times enough!
  3. I live in the place of my dreams. There’s nothing wrong in loving the place where you are. But that location is only that, a simple location. If you don’t find peace within first, I promise you, you’ll not find it on the other side of the globe, no matter where you go. Look within, this is your “location”.

Everything you just read wasn’t meant to discourage you, quite the contrary. Let your work fill you with joy, allow that special someone to hug you and feel that love, and give yourself the permission to relocate to a far-away land where you will feel happy. Please do all of that, my dear friend. 🙂

But while you are doing this, I want you to know, you are the only person on the face of the Earth who has that permission to look in the mirror and say: “This is who I am.” No one else can do this for you. Not your family, not your friends, partners, or coworkers, only you.

I guess what I’m trying to tell you is…

YOU ARE WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE!

Love,

Marko

How would you respond if someone asked you: “Who are you?” What would you say? I would love to see your thoughts in the comment section below! 🙂

8 thoughts on “You Are Who You Choose To Be!

  1. I would add; please don’t think you are the person you have created on your social media page. A “like” doesn’t change your life one bit. It is temporarily satisfying, but the person has already forgotten your pic or comment that earned a like. You still owe it to yourself to be a content person outside of social media. You still need to do things that you yourself enjoy, not things that are popular in others’ eyes to enjoy. In the end, the way others see you varies so greatly that you cannot please them all. But you are accountable to yourself. When something catches your interest, read about it or pursue it! Enjoy the fulfillment you get and don’t feel like you owe anybody an explanation for being interested in something odd. Me, one thing I love is observing different roof lines, porches, windows etc. I draw random house plans for fun. No, I am not interested in pursuing it as a career…it is my fun time. I don’t share them with others. I did get to have one of my plans built, and may again in the future. It pleases ME. I do not care if it isnt the “usual” thing for a gal to do. Groups of ladies rarely discuss the things that interest me (except for discussing kids), and that is okay. I am content doing my own thing. It did take some years to accept that I am simply different, but once I discovered my mbti type I also discovered more confidence and contentedness in my individuality. I don’t need to fit in any group, and neither do you! We are still awesome in our own minority way!

      1. It is a good feeling to be able to boldly say that one of my hobbies is to draw houses! I get odd looks from most people, because the general mindset seems to be that hobbies must be productive or shared; refinish furniture or make crafts to sell, or grow food n can it or sing to crowds etc. I’m lucky to have a place where I know I won’t get funny online looks for “wasting” time. Other infjs understand the deep value of refilling our soul with the colors that match ourselves, not with colors that match others. So thank you for having a place where we can boldly be ourselves without judgement! 😊

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