Not only (as you will see for yourself) did I barely managed to hold it together, but I also received dozens of emails and comments of support that deeply touched me.
I wasn’t planning to make a post out of this video, but I would love for you to see it. š
This is the first time you’ll see me this emotional during a live broadcast, as the topic is extremely personal to me. Also, the entire video is spontaneous. Nothing was prepared in advance.
What you see here is me, in my most vulnerable state…
Itās painfully difficult to stay true to ourselves in todayās modern world. We are our own worst critics, adding this to the mixture. Every action and spoken word will go through a detailed analysis in our mind before a decision has been made. However, this way of thinking brings us to the next questionā¦
Who are we actually? So…
How do you know who you are?
I had an interesting talk with a taxi driver recently while going to my favorite coffee shop. Itās not a long distance, but he wanted to have a more meaningful talk with me, so being an INFJ I happily accepted. š
It got to a question who we are. He asked me, and I only said, Iām Marko, currently someone who is trying to figure out what is the next chapter of my life, and why I keep giving so much to those who give so little to me.
The taxi driver stopped the car (red light of course), turned his head in disbelief, and was probably thinking I am crazy. Mind you, this is Serbia we are talking about, a small country that is extremely close minded and not open to individual values and qualities. Many donāt even know what being an introvert means.
It was my turn to asking the drive who he is. And of course, he said exactly what I expected him to say. āIām a taxi driver for 15 years, before that my company fired me, before that I worked in real estate, I have a wife, two kids, I live in a terrible neighborhoodā¦
āThis is not who you areā I said. āHow so?ā he replied. I told him that he only told me what is his career, what happened to him, who he loves, and where he lives, but not who he really is.
āWho are you really, when you are not driving, when you are not with your family, and when you are not in your homeā?
Iāll never forget the moment when this elderly man took of his glasses and said: āI donāt knowā¦ I guess I forgotā¦ā The sadness in his eyes is something that will stay with me for a long time. Unfortunately, he is not the only one who has this way of thinkingā¦
Hereās the truthā¦
Many with whom I had the chance to speak with connect who they are with their career. Some with people who are in their life, and others with the place where they are at the moment. None of this defines you. There is zero correlation with what you do, who is your friend or partner, and where you live with who you really are. That conclusion comes from within.
So now Iām going to share with you three scary scenarios why is this mindset so terrifying. What you read here wonāt be easy to digest, but I want to show you that you are enough.
My work completes me. Your career and what you do is not a measurement of success. You are not what you do. Let me ask you something. If you are what you do, then what are you when you are doing nothing?
This person is my other half. First of all, you are not a half. You are already a complete whole. Itās wonderful having that special someone, but you donāt need anyone to complete you, because you are already enough, a thousand times enough!
I live in the place of my dreams. Thereās nothing wrong in loving the place where you are. But that location is only that, a simple location. If you donāt find peace within first, I promise you, youāll not find it on the other side of the globe, no matter where you go. Look within, this is your ālocationā.
Everything you just read wasnāt meant to discourage you, quite the contrary. Let your work fill you with joy, allow that special someone to hug you and feel that love, and give yourself the permission to relocate to a far-away land where you will feel happy. Please do all of that, my dear friend. š
But while you are doing this, I want you to know, you are the only person on the face of the Earth who has that permission to look in the mirror and say: āThis is who I am.ā No one else can do this for you. Not your family, not your friends, partners, or coworkers, only you.
I guess what Iām trying to tell you isā¦
YOU ARE WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE!
Love,
Marko
How would you respond if someone asked you: āWho are you?ā What would you say? I would love to see your thoughts in the comment section below! š
Every single year when I made New year Resolutions and goals, I ended up being disappointed if I missed a deadline for one, or if things didnāt work out how I wanted them to be. Donāt get me wrong, itās perfectly okay to plan for the next year and what you want to do.
But the issue is that with all these decisions, we only create expectations. For example, I wanted to move to a new apartment when I return to Canada, and to live closer downtown. I also wanted to travel to some destinations that were on my bucket list for years. But guess what?
Life happened.
I also wanted to enter this year with some people that were my biggest support just 11 months back. And now, almost none of those people are present in my life, and I am going back to my old home in Calgary (a home that I love, honestly). Not to forget, I also wanted to have a multiple six figure business. Not going to happen.
But life again happened. Ā
Present is your most important gift
Instead of everything I wrote above, something much better happened when I stopped making New Year action planning for the next year, creating 12 month plans, and pushing myself to again start the so called āhustleā.
I chose to slow down. Fully and entirely. I made a choice to embrace where I am, who is there, what I am doing, and what I went through to get to where I am at the moment.
These are the results for my 2019:
– I found a handful of people that literally finish my sentences how well we function, and with whom I can speak every day not being afraid to tell them how I feel
– I have a career I am infatuated with, working with people who inspire and bring out the best from me
– I donāt spend an ounce my energy on anyone who isnāt ready to appreciate me for who I am
– I donāt look back for those who left, those who donāt respond, who are ātoo busyā, and those who only come to me when they need something.
– I am surrounded by those few I cherish dearly, and those who create the time to be there for me regardless of what is happening to them
– New amazing, doors are opening up to me (this is going to be a secret for now š )
Now I didnāt tell you all this to make you feel bad about yourself. I shared this with you because if I could do it, so can you. I am no better than anyone. We all earned the right to walk in the direction of peace, love, and progress.
I told you about my 2019, so that you can see that you are not required to set some massive goals for 2020 in order to succeed. And this is coming from someone who planned every step of the way, always wanting to know whatās going to happen next.
New Year, Be You
Please know, you were enough in 2019, and you will be in 2020. Whatever happens, whatever good or bad comes your way, know this. Only you can decide where to steer your ship. Youāre the only one who can catch the wind and sail to wherever you want to go.
You donāt have to make some silly decisions or plan anything for twelve months in advance in order to succeed. I can promise you, life will surprise you, and there will be a bunch of things that will go wrong. Iām not saying you should improvise everything though.
Instead, just allow yourself to be here, now. Donāt hustle to have a life you wonāt have time to live.
You wonāt miss anything, because what is meant to cross your path will find its way to you. The love of your life, the career of your dreams, the travel of a decade, everything will come to you exactly when itās supposed to. But until it does, remember one crucial thingā¦
Live now! You only got one life. Please, donāt spend it chasing something invisible. Plan if you want, journal, thatās all good. But I am urging you, bring your mind and heart to this present momentā¦
You wonāt miss a thing, I promise.
May this 2020 bring you all that your younger self prayed for, everything your future self would be grateful for, and all that will make you present self smile from ear to ear. š
Happy New 2020 everyone! š
Much love
Marko
How will you enter 2020? What are your thoughts on what we shared in this article? Would you agree with it? As always, we would love to hear from you in the comments below!
No article today. I won’t cover a specific topic, or tell you what to do if something happens etc… I won’t give you any examples either. Today, I just have few words I would like you to hear. These come straight from the heart, followed by a few tears…
Don’t you dare chasing anyone!
Don’t you dare chasing anyone for love and affection. Don’t you dare shrinking yourself so that others may like you, or see you in a different way. We’re all meant to shine with our own unique light, so that all those authentic souls may find they way to you.
Those who will actually fight for you and won’t give up on who you are.
Don’t you dare begging anyone to call you, message you, or stay with you. Your purpose on this Earth is not to persuade anyone that you are worthy of love. You got that right the moment you were born, the moment you took your first breath, you were and are worthy of being cherished for who you are.
If someone, for whatever reason can’t or won’t give you the love and care you earned, then there’s no need to chase that affection. If they won’t give it to you willingly, wish them all the best, and let them go.
Now, I need you to see and hear what I’m about to say.
You are enough
You will be hurt. Life will teach you that lesson, do not doubt that for a single moment. You will experience pain of rejection and abandonment. But you will also feel love, kindness, goodness, and that genuine concern that will make your days filled with pure joy.
So don’t you dare chasing for their love. You earned it, just by being you. You earned it the moment you opened your eyes, and allow no one to convince you differently.
You are not difficult to love. You are enough.
Love, Marko
I would love to hear from you in the comments below, how are you feeling about the upcoming Holidays? Do they make you feel good, or perhaps lonely? Feel free to share your thoughts, you will be listened here. š
This is the time when New Year resolutions are being made. People see this event as extremely important, because itās believed that the decisions made now will be effective throughout the next year. I know so many who create specific lists with exact dates by when will they accomplish something. However, at some point I had to ask myself one questionā¦
Are New Year resolutions really needed?
Every time when I would make a New Year resolution, it put a tremendous pressure on me. I felt as if no matter what, I had to make it happen. And while carrying that pressure, I had to work on all the problems daily life brings.
So instead of feeling fulfillment for making a New Year resolution, I started feeling overwhelmed. And as time passed by, it would happen that I miss a date by when I told myself that I will earn more money, travel to my next destination, or overthink less.
Life had other plans. As I was looking at the paper where I wrote all these resolutions, I only saw something that made me feel anxious instead of happy. I saw something that made me to compare myself to others instead feeling that inner peace.
Bottom line, I felt miserable. Sure, some goals were met. But being the perfectionist that I am, I knew that I wonāt be pleased until I reach every single goal on that paper. Because if I donāt, I would feel as if I canāt even honor my own words from just few months back.
So I realizedā¦
No more New Year resolutions
Iām not saying you should live day by day and not thinking about the future. Thatās a different story. But thereās no need to wait for a certain month of the year, so that you can decide to do something for the next one.
Time is a concept only humans have. Only we use clocks, and human beings are the only ones who measure years, months, days, hours, minutesā¦ We are under this constant pressure to do everything on time.
Earn more, travel more, do more of that, do less of this, and the list goes on and onā¦ It was like this for me until this year when I made a choice. Never again will I make New Year resolutions and ask myself are they needed.
The reason why?
I donāt want to plan every step of my journey.
Be here, now!
Instead of focusing on a New Year resolution, why not just trying to enter 2020 with a fresh start? š
What happened in 2019, happened. We canāt turn the clock backwards, but we can be in the present moment. Ā
Why not simply make a choice to slow down, to smile more, to cry when you need to, to have more chocolate ice cream, to dance in the rain, to play video games while having your favorite coffee, see your friends more often, take yourself out to dinner, or to enjoy reading your favorite book in a quet coffee shop while itās snowing outside?
Let me tell you a secret. You donāt even have to make that choice. Just do it!
Live! š
You can do all that whenever you want to, 365 days a year, you donāt have to wait for December!
Go do your thing! Something good might happen, something bad might happen, you might fail, you might feel sad, abandoned, or happy, or in love, but nothing will happen if you make New Year resolutions a must just because everyone else do them, and because you believe you need them.
You donāt need a plan to live your life. You just have to embrace the fact that it will happen, whether you plan it or not.
I have no idea what 2020 is going to bring. I honestly have no clue. Coming from someone who planned almost every step of the way, that can be a scary thought, looking into the unknown.
But I tell you what? The unknown can sometimes be pretty awesome. You have to allow life to happen. You just need to take one step at a time. š
Love,
Marko
What are your thoughts on New Year resolutions? Whatās your experience with them, and how do they make you feel? We would love to hear from you in the comment section below!
Finding purpose is not always about finding that bigger why, or why we exist on this planet. The truth about discovering it is simpler than you realize. And rarely is seeing that purpose more important than when it comes to your career and what you do. Allow me to explain why.
Finding Purpose Is Vital For Career Success
Many believe that when we set out to find why weāre here, we immediately ask ourselves questions that are larger than life. I wasnāt different, because I too asked myself this more times than I can count. Hereās an example.
Our career will take a huge portion of our life. This is why itās so vital that we not just find purpose for it to succeed, but also to understand why are we searching for it in the first place.
Just a few years ago, I thought that if I donāt immediately see the end-goal in the job that I do, I would immediately reject it. It didnāt matter what it was, I would not even consider it, because I thought that I need to see the finish line right away.
This way of thinking caused one particular sensation to overflow my mind ā regret. I failed to realize that finding purpose is vital for career success, but not in the way many people think. Itās much more simpler, and more closer for you to find it than you think.
Career success are not promotions, big company meetings with million dollar deals, or endless hustling (I actually donāt like that term at all). Finding purpose in your career is loving what youāre doing even when itās hard. š
Itās All About the Little Things
If you would ask me just a couple of years back whatās my main career goal I would tell you itās having a six figure business, the hustle, working tirelessly around the clock to reach that goal. Donāt get me wrong, these are perfectly valid goals and dreams.
Iām not going to bash people who think like this. If thatās something that makes you fulfilled, Iām the first one who will support you, fully and unconditionally.
But having gone through the stage of my life where my career was everything to me, I realized what I lost in that so called rat race. I lost friends, alienated myself from my family, and missed who knows how many opportunities to be in a relationship with someone special.
Finding purpose is vital for a career success, because that success is fulfillment! Please donāt chase a life you wanna life, but lose the time living the life you have now, right this minute while youāre reading this.
I promise you, no amount of money, position, power, or influence will be seen as success if you have no one with whom you can share it with.
Your money wonāt hold your hand when you just need to be listened. Your promotion wonāt be there to hug you when you want to cry, and your influence wonāt matter when you just need to be heard from the heart.
So are you ready to hear a big secret?
Career Purpose Is Not Your Career
Itās how you feel while youāre doing what youāre doing. Itās when youāre feeling exhausted to the bone, meeting difficult deadlines, when your eyes hurt just by looking at the screen, and you get a text message from the ones you care for the most:
āIām thinking about you, you can do this.ā
Your career purpose is when you get up in the morning, even though you are not a morning person and you still want to work with enthusiasm. Itās when you go to sleep in peace, knowing that what you did that day made a difference.
Finding your career purpose is vital, because itās not about chasing money or prestigeā¦ Itās knowing that when the day comes when you know you canāt do something, you will get that message from that special soul telling you that you can. Itās when you look yourself in the mirror before you go to bed and tell yourself:
āYou did good today. Iām proud of you.ā
Now thatās a purpose worth seeking, wouldnāt you agree? š
Love,
Marko
I would love to hear, how important is your career to you? Do you seek to find purpose in it? Please feel free to share your thoughts, I would be humbled to hear from you!
P.S This article will also be shared as a guest post on a concept from one of our dear friends. š
It can be so difficult to find people who will actually be there. It took me almost 31 years before I found people who are always there for me, no matter what. But the road to reaching that point was more difficult that I could have ever imagined. The reason was simple.
I Was The Only One Who Was Always There
In the past, I was the one who would send that first message or start the conversation. It doesn’t matter how close I was to that person, if I would stop reaching out and being there, I would never hear from them ever again.
This pattern kept repeating itself to the point where I started losing hope that something will ever change for the better. But this wasn’t just about mere presence. The lack of response triggered deep traumas from my past.
Even though I had what you call a regular childhood, that was only a mirage. The reality was that I felt lonely for most of my life. Imagine writing something that’s important to you to someone close only to never receive a response, or get one after a few days with only a nonchalant: “Oh I forgot to respond back.”
Understand, this was something that was happening for years to me. I almost decided one day few years back that I don’t need anyone, and that I’m okay on my own. Luckily, I was wrong regarding that. But I still felt like I’m a merely option to everyone back then.
Because I don’t want you to go through what I did, here’s a small letter to You who are always there.
My Letter To Everyone Who Are always There
I just returned from a small weekend getaway where I took some time to recharge, and hear my own thoughts for the first time in a long time. I’m a firm believer that we sometimes need to silence the external world in order to hear our own clearer.
However, even though I was mostly offline, I kept communicating with only one person on a regular basis. Apart from this amazing human, I made a conscious decision not to message with almost anyone else, as like I said, I needed time to re-align myself.
I had so many incredibly meaningful conversations with this amazing human during my weekend getaway from social media. The surefire way you can know when these talks are impactful is when you completely lose the track of time.
It’s when you forget about the fact you ordered food half an hour ago and you’re perfectly okay with it because you received and are listening a lovely new song, or laughing at a wonderful meme they sent you. It’s when you need help choosing the right sweater (Yes, I’m terrible at shopping for myself lol), and you get complete support in choosing the right one after just one message. š
Because of this, and so many other reasons that would need at least a thousand more pages for me to write to explain it, I’m there for this wonderful person no matter what happens. And I want to tell you something. Be there for those incredible souls like the one I just described, always.
You know why?
Because you’re going to forget all about those who left. You won’t think twice about those who hurt you, or even blink at the mention of the ones who told you you were too much. You will simply be too busy being there for those who are there for you too.
Please trust that you will find the people who will grace you with their full presence and attention. I know it might not look like that right now, but I promise you this.
There will come a day when you will be tired, overwhelmed, exhausted, and upset, but then you’ll look at your phone and see:
“I’m here.”
And everything you went through will be worth it just by seeing these two words. š
Love, Marko
Do you have people in your life who are there for you as much as you are for them? What’s your experience with this? I would love to hear from you in the comments below! š
Iāll be honest and say that this weekend wasnāt the best for me. From time to time, my mind has to release everything that has been gathered through a certain period of time. Those thoughts have to go out somewhere. This weekend was that time. Confusion came, and tears couldnāt stop pouring down my cheeks. I needed to free my emotions from the prison of my own mind.
Itās Okay To Be Emotional
You must understand, there arenāt many people who will understand how to properly express emotions in a health way. Humans are emotional, walking paradoxes. You may find us perfectly calm and calculated from the outside, while on the inside we are like a tsunami ready to storm the shore. I cannot hide my emotions and only couple of people ever saw me broken to the point where I couldnāt focus at all.
Iāll give you an example. Iām rarely upset when something happens to me personally. Of course I get anxious about it, but Iām usually pretty calm. As I mentioned, only a couple of people saw me completely broken. But when something bad is happening to the ones I love the most, now this is a whole other story.
It doesnāt matter if Iāve met you yesterday, but if you are going through something difficult, Iāll forget about my sleep, pour a big cup of coffee, and Iāll listen to whatever you want to tell me. Maybe I donāt know you that well, but I know what pain is. And everyone earned the right to be heard.
I lost sleep for the ones I care for the most so many times I lost count. And I donāt regret a single night spent awake if that meant a minute of peace for that one human thatās important to me. Due to the nature of what I do, hearing storied of tragedy, abandonment, and rejection, I had to teach myself one more thing besides that itās okay to be emotionalā¦ Ā
Listen And Be Vulnerable
Open up and
be vulnerable. Wear your heart on a sleeve. You will be hurt, make no mistake
about it. But life is hard enough, you will learn that lesson eventually! So before
you, do, show your emotional, vulnerable side as something youāre proud of, not
something you want to constantly hide.
Just a few
years back I didnāt have anyone who would acknowledge, and even tell me that
everything is going to be okay, or just hold my hand in silence and
understanding. I was alone, with only myself to encourage. My mind and heart
were the only ones holding the fort against loneliness and sadness.
The situation is different now, but what I want to tell you is, donāt hold back how you feel. Itās okay to be emotional. Maybe that moment will catch you in a park, bus, while hiking, at home, anywhere, but when it does, donāt swallow up how you feel.
This weekend was the time when I needed to bring some clarity to my confused mind. I talked and messaged with a couple of people that I deeply care for, to reassure myself Iām not completely alone in this.
Not many know this about me, but working as a journalist in the past, I had a chance to meet some pretty amazing people. J
So when I met Nick Vujicic, the author of āLife without Limbsā, and a famous motivational speaker, he told me something that Iāll never forget. He explained to me why tears matter, and why we should let out our emotions, why you need to be vulnerable:
āRemember this every time when you are sad or lonely. Tears clean the windows of our soul. Your emotions are what makes you unique and wonderful.āā Nick Vujicic
Let your
amazing emotions surface my friends, because I promise that you will feel
better, and see things much clearer. š
Love,
Marko
How often do you open up to people? How does being vulnerable and emotional impact your daily life? We would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comment section below!
Many I had the chance to speak with face this problem. The infamous social hangover that renders our energy and focus to a bare minimum is something many people experienced, including me. It goes without saying that itās in direct connection with when we are engaged in multiple social activities for days at a time. But thereās a catch. We can only endure so much of it before we become overwhelmed and drained.
Social hangover is real
Since holidays are closing in, you only need to imagine the following scenario. You are surrounded by dozens of people, and are forced to engage in dreaded small talk over and over again. Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, it wonāt take long before your energy levels drop to zero.
You start feeling as if youāre suffocating, and in need of fresh air. Itās the kinda feeling we all felt at some point in our life. It’s as if the room isnāt big enough, and you get that claustrophobic sensation to desperately breathe in some fresh air.
This is all too real. Donāt get me wrong, we love our people and want to spend time with them. Humans are social creatures, and spending time with those we cherish the most is amazing! But we also need time with our own thoughts, and the holiday season renders that time almost impossible to get.
No wonder so many of us feel anxious, nervous, and under huge stress realizing, social hangover is real. Ā Ā
Having said that, Iāll get straight into sharing with you the three most effective ways to overcome social hangover, and to prepare for it before it happens.
3 ways to overcome a social hangover
1. Plan your exit strategy in advance.
Itās vital that you plan how you will leave the event before you reach a social
hangover moment. Determine how many hours you can stay before approaching that
limit. Remember, you are not being selfish, you are protecting yourself, and by
doing so, you will also give more focused attention to everyone around you
before you decide to leave. Carefully plan how much you can endure before you
need to recharge.
2. Expand small talk to a genuine conversation. You will inevitably experience small talk when you’re in a large crowd which is extremely draining. So when you find yourself in a situation like this, try to shift the topic youāre covering to something more meaningful. This will help reduce the social hangover dramatically. For example, if you speak with someone about a book, ask them about the main character, their actions in that specific book, or their thoughts about the message the book brings. Small talk may happen, but that doesnāt mean that you have to stay in that realm.
3. Embrace solitude as a must. I cannot stress how important this is. In order for you to recharge your batteries, you must spend a little bit of time alone, because you have to look after yourself, too. And that means lots of solitude after exhausting events, too much small talk, and being surrounded by people for large quantities of time. You donāt have to surround yourself with complete silence. Put some silent music in the background, be in nature, meditate, journal, play with your furry friend, or simply take a replenishing nap. Anything that will nurture your mind and body will do the trick.
Remember that sometimes social hangovers will happen no matter how much we try to avoid them. But by applying these three simple, but effective techniques, you will be able to conquer social hangover and give that much needed care to yourself. š
Love,
Marko
Whatās your experience with social hangovers? Do you have a specific technique how you approach them? We would love to hear from you in the comments below! š
Does this sound familiar? I honestly donāt know how many times Iāve said this sentence myself. In a strange way, itās imprinted in my mind, and Iām always on the alert when it comes out to the surface. If you are an empath, or even a HSP (highly sensitive person), you can see how the words mentioned above trigger a lot of unpleasant emotions. Ā
Iām sorry, I donāt want to bother you
So, to get straight to the point, there are two main reasons that are the cause and root of why we think we actually bother people.
1. We think they will abandon us. Many of us faced abandonment at some point in their life. And Iām no different. So when we meet someone and start to open up more and more, fear of abandonment comes into the fray. We constantly analyze what we say, how we say it, is this enough or not, is my message okay, and the list goes on. Our overthinking mind tirelessly monitors our actions, and the pressure can be incredibly overwhelming.
2. We donāt want to burden anyone. So many of us know all too well how it feels to be misunderstood and overwhelmed. To avoid this, we become so careful not to do something like that to the person we care about. That causes self-sabotage, since our brain will sometimes rather sabotage a potential friendship or a relationship, than to feel guilty about overwhelming anyone in any way. Itās like an enchanted circle that hurts, and closes our heart to the point where few people are ever able to open it again.
That’s why we’re here to remind youā¦
Youāre not too much!
You must allow this thought to enter your mind. You are not bothering anyone! It took me years to figure this out, because the thing is, your care and concern is what people need. Many are so used to be treated badly, that when they come across someone who is so caring and understanding as you are, they get scared by it.
But thatās
not your fault. Itās not your job to save everyone. What you can do is,
continue to care with all your heart. Of course you will get hurt and of course
some people will leave, but your life is not tied to the ones who do. Let them
go. Let them exit at the next train station, and focus on the ones who are with
you on this train to the end.
Donāt stop caring because someone was unable to appreciate it. If thereās something I learned, itās that you will be too much for some people. They are not your people. As certain as the dawn, I can promise you, you will find those who will return that feedback, and give you that beautiful care and love you so earned. š
One more timeā¦
Thereās nothing wrong with you, there never was. No matter how many people left, they only did that to free the space for the right ones to enter your life. These souls will stay for the ride, because they will see what I see in you while Iām writing this.
I see a kind, caring, and an understanding human being that you are. You are not bothering anyone. <3
Love,
Marko
Is the topic of this article something you can relate with? I would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments below!
