Blog

5 Powerful Ways You Can Conquer The Fear Of Abandonment

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

Experiencing abandonment is one of the most difficult moments anyone will ever experience. The pain from it can be excruciating. So this time we will avoid giving you examples, because we were all abandoned at some point in life. The memories from these events can be extremely painful, even for us at Dauntless Inspiration.

So instead we will be direct, and share with you five effective ways you can use to approach the fear from abandonment, and overcome it!

5 Ways You Can Conquer The Fear of Abandonment

The fear of abandonment causes us to overthink to the point of obsession. Amazing traits such as our wonderful understanding and sincere empathy are deeply affected because of this fear.

Our trademark virtues become clouded and dry instead of inspirational and joyful. Acknowledging when the fear of abandonment appears in the first place is crucial in handling it.

How to recognize the fear of abandonment

The first signs come immediately after the event that triggered the fear of abandonment. Events such as unkind words, and lack of attention and intimacy from a loved one may trigger that unpleasant fear of abandonment. These signs can vary in strength and duration, but the feeling causes us to feel anxious. In our case, we lose focus and concentration. Reactions based solely on our emotions start to take over.

Don’t get us wrong, there’s nothing wrong with letting emotions take the wheel. But the problem is when that wheel is out of control. To understand fear of abandonment, hammer your emotions with negativity and the result is self-sabotage, guilt, and overthinking. When this happens, we start to see events and words that do not exist.

Even worse is when we start blaming ourselves.

Facing the fear of abandonment

According to an experienced therapist and a famous hypnotism expert Mark Tyrrell, if you have a fear of abandonment, it may stem from experiences you’ve actually had.

It also might simply be a fear of experiences you would hate to have. Tyrrell adds: “Just because someone has been abandoned at some point, it doesn’t inevitably mean they’ll come to have a morbid fear of abandonment later in life.”

Here are some amazing tips to overcome the fear of abandonment:

1. Find the root. When you focus on finding where the fear of abandonment first appeared, you can connect it with the reason why it happened. Your analytical and highly organizational mind will have no trouble connecting the dots and discovering the key reason why abandonment scares you so much.

2. Break it down on paper. It’s not easy for most of us to understand our own thoughts. Especially when they are about our deepest fears, such as abandonment. Write them on paper. They don’t have to be organized or structured. They don’t even have to make sense. Just let them out. When you write how you feel, you immediately get a clearer picture of the problem.

3. Accept that it happened. Denial kills motivation. It has double the effect on the many, because we tend to blame ourselves. We tend to forget that it wasn’t us who abandoned someone; it’s the other way around. When you fully accept the real reason, you are automatically giving yourself the permission to heal.

4. Determine possible actions. Now it’s time to act. But you don’t have to face this alone. Friends and family can be a source of great comfort in a time like this. Seek their support and advice. In case you find yourself alone, look at the abandonment event as a huge lesson. It was there to teach you something and to make you wiser. Close the chapter and open a new blank one. Know when not to go back to someone who abandoned us.

5. Make a decision. Make some sort of an agreement with yourself. Decide that no matter how hard the abandonment was, it won’t stop you from having a future fulfilling relationship or a friendship. The fear may be there, but it’s not there to stop you. It’s there to make you stronger. Fear of abandonment will disappear when you accept it, but never allow it to control you.

Fear is not real

The lack of fear doesn’t make you courageous. The truth is far more simple, yet difficult to accept. True courage lies in complete vulnerability. You will experience abandonment in your life, make no mistake about it. Accept that it happened, but don’t dwell on it.

Don’t close your heart because someone didn’t know how to appreciate that well of goodness that resides within you. Instead, leave it open, but stay cautious. Facing the fear of abandonment is far from easy, but it’s the path to emotional freedom. If there’s one thing so many value, it’s the opportunity to feel free within our own mind.

A great quote about fear, which we love reading, comes from a famous American actor Will Smith:

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. Now do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice.”

You don’t have to be fearless our dear friend, just don’t let fear stop you.

Love,

Marko

Have you ever experienced abandonment?

What effect did it have on you and how did you face it? We would love to know your thoughts on this difficult topic in the comments below!

You Can’t Save Everyone

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

If you’re like most people, you want to save everyone. Who can blame you? Like most of us, when you see something is broken, you want to fix it. You see someone is in pain, you want to help them. It’s part of who you are. Now you’re probably thinking: “But this is what I should do, I need to be there for everyone who need me”. Well not exactly. Hear me out.

You cannot save everyone

We want to make sure that not just the people we cherish the most are safe, but also the ones around us, and pretty much everybody we meet. Whatever bad you see is happening in today’s world, it’s in human nature to try and help. However, this is when problems start to appear.

This is the unspoken truth and something you might not want to hear, but I’ll be crazy direct and honest.  You can’t save everyone, and you shouldn’t. You cannot change anyone, and you shouldn’t even try. Period.

Believe me when I say, I tried. I gave it everything I got to save my potential partners from themselves, to save my friends from their own toxic thoughts, and even my family from all the arguments. I want this article to be eye-opening for you my dear friend, because it’s not your duty to fix anyone.

I’m 31 now, and I was always the one who would try to solve and repair everything. So as weird as this sounds, I’m glad I can’t make everything right. It was a burden my shoulders could never carry. You need to remember…

People don’t need to be saved

You need someone in your life who won’t need your constant help and presence. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean you should be careless and distant, but you need to understand, it’s not your job to be there for everyone all the time. The painful truth is, many people don’t want to be saved.

Many are so enjoying being the victim and nothing you do will change that pattern of behavior. You’ll actually meet heavy resistance. I had my fair share of relationships and friendships in the past when I was only called when someone needed something or when things got bad.

When everything was good, it’s like I never existed. Don’t allow yourself to be in that position, because one person needs you more than anyone else…

YOU!

Be there for the ones you love the most, but never forget to put yourself as a priority. I’ll now share something personal with you, and I’m a little nervous being this vulnerable. A good number of people contacted me in recent weeks, seeking my attention. I haven’t spoken with most of them for many months and even years.

So I decided, as much as every atom of my body wanted to, to not act on that feeling and help everyone who reached out. I chose to be there for myself, the ones who are there for me, and those who were by my side when no one else was. At that moment, I felt a sense of freedom I haven’t felt in a long time.

I felt guilty at the beginning though. But I made a conscious choice to focus on the ones who actually make the effort to reach out and show me that they care for me, too. By prioritizing the ones who see me as an important part of their life, I made myself a priority too.

Now I give my energy (which levels are drastically increased by the way) only to the few who earned it, and they return it to me in abundance. I want to make a difference in this world and reach out to as many people as possible, but I’ll always put myself first. Not because I’m selfish or arrogant, but because in the end, how will you help someone, if you can’t help yourself, dearest? <3

Love,

Marko

Have you ever been called a savior? Can you relate with what I wrote in this article? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Why We Need To Find Our Purpose

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

One of the most important events in our lives is the moment when we discover our genuine purpose. It’s that second of realization when we understand that the puzzle is completed, and when all events of the past become clear to us. When we find our purpose, whether that’s a career, relationship, or another realm of life, we feel fulfillment like we’ve never felt it before.

Why We Need To Find Purpose

In today’s modern world, when you say you want to find purpose, you usually get this response in return: “Stop your daydreaming and philosophy.” This is something that really bothers me, since why should purpose discovery be seen as something strange? Why should it be seen as something that’s taboo?

The answer is simple. Every time when a person gives you the weird look upon mentioning purpose, it’s because they don’t want to find it for themselves. Or because they tried finding it and failed. In their eyes, it’s so much easier to just tell you that you can’t do it, too. It will remind them that they tried, but did not succeed, and that they are living a stagnant, repetitive life. Let me give you an example.

You finish school or college, you get a job, you work, marry, and then retire, period. That’s how most people think these days. I’m not saying this way of life is bad, but this is a heavy blow for a mind that’s hungry for meaning and more knowledge. We need to have a higher purpose and a bigger why in life. If you miss out on that, your life may become repetitive, which leads to stagnation, and to much worse outcomes…

We need to find purpose because it’s the pre-requisite for all the good you want to accomplish. It’s the foundation of not just your own personal success, but also a guarantee that you will find those who will share the same values as you do.

It’s not just about reaching that bigger why. It’s understanding that life can be so much more once you know where to turn your sails, and chart your own course. 🙂

It Will Be Worth It

Wandering through life and living day by day may be a good way to live for some, and that’s okay. But not for everyone. Our purpose should be our guide, and it should be that one thing that gives us the strength to persevere even in our darkest moments. It doesn’t matter what that purpose is, because as long as we have it and see it, we can work on it, upgrade it, and make a difference.

It’s easy to go with the flow and let life unfold day after day. Trust me, that’s the easy part. But when you start planning to do something bigger, that’s when you’ll see all the magnificent possibilities life has to offer.

That’s why discovering purpose is so vital. It’s the founding block of our determination, perseverance, persistence, fulfillment, and happiness. But please know, if you still haven’t found it, don’t despair, you will. It’s only a matter of time.

Don’t forget, the road to reaching your purpose is incredibly important, because it’s not all about the end goal. It’s about who we become on that journey. Embrace these moments when you don’t actually know where to go. They will be one of the most beautiful and adventurous experiences you will ever undertake. They will be worth it, all the way. 🙂

Love,

Marko

Have you found your purpose? If not, how would you describe your journey so far? We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

How To Easily Overcome Perfectionism

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

Overcoming perfectionism is one of those goals we believe it’s nearly impossible to overcome. Not because it’s some kind of an invincible force, but because perfectionism carries a burden heavier and more difficult than most emotions. And we are all about learning, improving, and moving forward. I am a perfectionist myself sometimes, I admit it. But I found an effective and an easy way to overcome it.

Overcoming perfectionism through acceptance

Imagine you are a main character in a video game. We all know that in every video game there’s a main quest you need to complete, and then there are optional ones. When you finish the main story, you win, and the game thanks you for your time and rewards you in some way. Good feeling, right? But there’s something you feel is missing still.

Remember the optional quests? As with overcoming perfectionism, your thoughts that are not vital for your daily decision making are preventing you to be fully happy you reach your destination. It should be enough that you completed the task. But you sense you’re not fully satisfied. Your mind simply didn’t have enough. You haven’t completed the optional quest, so now you feel that what you did is mediocre.

You feel as if you didn’t do a good job. So you start being hard on yourself, how could you miss something like this, and why it’s still not enough. Surely, the result would be much better if you did everything perfectly? Wrong. I deliberately used a video game example because at the end of every game when you complete the main story, you’ve won! No questions asked. It was enough, accept that. Same with overcoming perfectionism.

You did more than enough

Overcoming perfectionism is not about doing every single detail, task, or a quest, and bringing it to a perfection, because there’s no such thing. There is no such thing as perfect. My dear friend and one of the founders of Dauntless Inspiration, Giselle, always tells me to give it my all, but that I should be happy with the result, no matter what it is, period. Her wise words finally found their way into my mind.

Like the main character in our video game, you did your best and you gave your maximum. That is enough. Please don’t get me wrong, going that extra mile is important, but not at the price of your health and happiness. When you finish a task, don’t doubt the result. Instead acknowledge that you did everything which was in your power to complete it.

Overcoming perfectionism is all about recognizing that your effort gave you the result you wanted. You must understand, there’s a difference between going the extra mile, and just pushing yourself for no good reason. I should know, because I used to push myself beyond my breaking point regularly which only caused overwhelm and anxiety.

Remember, it’s okay to strive towards the best possible solution. But please don’t lose yourself in that journey. What good is the result if you are just too overwhelmed and tired to enjoy it in the end?

Pat yourself on the back, because you did enough. Enjoy in what you accomplished, smile, and be happy about it. You deserve that smile. 😊

Love,

Marko

Are you a perfectionist? What’s your experience with perfectionism? We would love to hear from you in the comments below!

First Official Dauntless Inspiration Interview!

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

We have incredibly exciting news for you!

You’re among the first who will see our very own official Dauntless Inspiration interview with Katherine Denton Pomerantz! Woohoo! 

Now a little bit about Katherine and what can you expect to see in the recording that we’ll share with you today

In this interview, Katherine, the owner of TheBookkeepingArtist.com, goes into detail about her story of how she went from working as an actress to becoming a successful business owner of her own accounting firm and becoming a financial expert, all in a span of just one year!

We hope you will enjoy watching this interview as much as we loved every minute making it! 🙂

Huge thanks to Katherine for her patience, kindness, generosity, and professionalism! She is a genuine inspiration!
We so appreciate her giving, caring nature, and incredible professionalism!

Hope you’ll love the interview!

Xo,

Giselle & Marko

If you want to learn more about Katherine and get in touch with her directly, please follow this link to her website, or check out her Facebook Page.

Why Is Setting Goals So Important?

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

One of the greatest feats of strength is our ability to set goals and relentlessly work on them. The sheer thrill of knowing that our dreams are possible to accomplish makes us happy beyond recognition. If happiness can be described through one action, I believe this would be it. However, there’s a crucial component many disregard to acknowledge upon starting to search for that bigger why.

You Have Time To Reach Your Goal

The excitement of a challenge can boost our creativity, ambition, motivation, and especially our determination. However, there’s something that can hinder this wonderful feeling. It’s the realization that some goals might not happen right away. The idea of an constant sprint running down this imaginary racetrack is often unrealistic, because knowing more time is needed is essential. So I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m not a patient person.

You need to accept the fact that more time is needed to reach that goal. I can perfectly understand that you want it right here and right now, but if you speed things up, a whole lot of bad things will happen. You might overwhelm yourself, loose your health, and even the sight of that dream you have. And this is just to name a few.

There are all kinds of emotions that’ll try finding their way into our mind when we pursue our goals, including: fear, anxiety, overwhelm, even panic. Then we’ll start asking questions like: “Why is this happening to me?” or “Why things didn’t work out like I planned, and when I planned?”. Ring a bell? Well they made me feel nauseous.

So what would be a good solution for making your most precious dream a reality without all the negative aspects that journey brings?
How can we approach this situation, and preserve our peace of mind at the same time?

Stop Rushing Yourself!

The first thing you have to do is, stop rushing yourself. Everything will happen in the exact moment when it’s supposed to happen, and not a minute sooner. If you speed it up, you will miss out the present moment my friends. And what good is reaching that finishing line if you don’t enjoy what happens before that?

Slow down, take a breather, and then continue. Second, when you set out to do something, and as long as you’re not hurting anyone in any way, move the mountains themselves to do it. If your goal hasn’t arrived yet, it’s because it’s not in season, but it will come. That I assure you.

Last but not least, the third thing you have to do is believe that what you’re going through right now is happening for a reason. I know, this is such a cliché advice. But please hear me out. Everything that is happening, what happened, was/is there to prepare you for everything you are seeking. This is your training camp, and your warm up practice before the big game.

You will reach your goals, have no doubt about it. They are not going anywhere because they are yours, and no one can take them away from you. Whatever it is you are searching right now, is searching you, too!

You may have to face the most difficult test of your life to make that dream a reality. But few feelings and emotions are equal to how you will feel knowing you actually did it. And we know you will. 🙂

So, as we at Dauntless Inspiration always say: GO DO YOUR THING!

Xo,

Marko

Where are you now when it comes to reaching that main goal you have? How do you feel about the journey you’re on to get to it? We would love to hear from you in the comments below! 🙂

Why Everything Happened The Way It Did

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

It’s not easy to face our past. Few people ever gather the courage to look their past right in the eye and say they moved on. What you need to remember is, it happened because it was supposed to teach you something. It happened, because it needed to bring you where you are now.

Why We Need To Face Our Past

A while ago I had a chance to say hi to my past, literally. I saw a person who meant the world to me almost ten years ago, but this time something was different. Instead of putting her on a pedestal like I used to and saying yes to her every demand and suggestion, something else happened entirely.

I moved on. When I looked into her eyes, I knew I’m this new, brave person who embraced being who he is, where I am now, and where I really want to be. Of course I’m doing what I can to reach that goal that occupies my attention, but a much more important moment happened in my mind that day.

I left my past where it belongs, behind me. Good memories and moments are always welcomed, but that’s about it. You see, most of us tend to dwell in the past, because we relish the chance to question it relentlessly. We ask ourselves: Maybe I could have done something differently… Let me be honest with you right now:

No, you couldn’t.

It Happened Exactly How It Was Supposed To Happen

Everything that has ever happened to you needed to happen. Every single difficulty, lonely moment, pain, and judgment had to come to pass so you could be ready to receive everything you ever wanted. Maybe you’re not where you want to be right now, and that’s okay. Shake off the doubt, shake of the negativity. Remember your dream, because you will reach it.

Look at your past, but leave it where it belongs, far behind you. Let what happened be a proof what a wonderful person you’ve become. Know how giving, caring, and understanding you already are. This is something you should be proud of every single day.

That’s what I am asking you to do. Leave your past-self, and let it go my dear friend. What has transpired wasn’t a punishment. Quite the contrary, it was a lesson, and nothing more. Stop torturing your gentle mind with different outcomes and what could have happened. It’s not just about releasing your previous life and accepting it, but also not allowing it to control you.

If your dream wasn’t alive, on track, and right on schedule, you wouldn’t have so many roadblocks coming against you. Maybe you tried five years ago or ten years ago. It didn’t work out? Start again. Let go of your past, because when you do, you are allowing yourself to embrace the present, and plan the future. You agree giving that future a fighting chance to unfold in all it’s glory and greatness you deserve to have. <3

Here at Dauntless Inspiration, we are your biggest fans, and we are cheering for you every step of the way. You got this! 🙂

Love,

Marko

Have you accepted what happened in your past? Are you still struggling with this? Let us know in the comments below, we would love to hear from you!

Why It’s Okay To Be Vulnerable

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

I always found it difficult to open up to people and be vulnerable. Being hurt so many times, I figured if I keep it all to myself, then no one will be able to hurt me again. But the only thing I managed to do is overwhelm my mind to a point where I felt incredibly lonely. However, there are days when I get a reminder why being vulnerable doesn’t have to be that difficult, and why it’s actually a strength.

Being vulnerable is not a weakness

When you’re being vulnerable in front of someone you cherish, you’re not just opening up to them. Something more happens. You are actively revealing pieces of your soul to that person. You are opening the gates of your inner self, allowing that human to touch your heart, and feel your pain.

I’m not saying that you should share your most private and beloved moments with everyone you meet. Believe me, I did that in the past and got hurt plenty of times.  But every once in a while, you’ll meet someone with whom you will feel that “click” right from the start. You will literally finish each other sentences. 🙂

Vulnerability can be hard, there’s no question about it. Understand, large majority of us were abandoned, hurt, or mocked at some point by the people we thought that will always be there for us. This is why need so much time to trust someone. But opening up is not a weakness. It’s actually one of the most courageous acts you’ll ever do.

Wear your heart on a sleeve

Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. I never believed in the term fearless, because fear is the greatest motivator there is. Even if you get hurt, and face abandonment that scares you so much, open your heart to the selected few whom you trust.

I was always the one who had troubles with being vulnerable to begin with, but because of all those people who left me when I needed them the most, I learned how precious are those who will embrace me, just the way I am.

My support circle is not big, and in fact, in only consists of a few people that I know I can count on at all times. Knowing that, I’m able to wear my heart on a sleeve, and so should you. I know you’re scared of being hurt again. But I can promise you, it will be less painful to be hurt once more, than close your heart forever and be indifferent.

See the good in people

Trust in people and let them in. I cannot promise that everything is going to be okay, but I can assure you that you will feel something many people spend their entire lives trying to find. You will feel free and safe. There isn’t a greater feeling than hearing those three, beautiful words: “I understand you.”

I’m not going to lie, you will be hurt at some point. This is life, and it will happen. But it will all be worth it in the end, because being vulnerable will bring you the right people that will be there when you need them the most.

Reach out to your friends and open your heart and soul. Tell them how you feel, let them know how much they mean to you, and share with them what lies on your mind. In the meantime, allow me to say: I understand you. <3

Xo,

Marko

What are your thoughts on vulnerability? What’s your experience with being vulnerable? We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

I Don’t Play Games, Speak Your Mind!

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

I never liked playing games. When I say games, I mean the ones where someone is literally playing with our feelings and emotions. Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to have fun sometimes, no harm in that. But the kind of games I’m talking about here always send a chill through my spine.

I don’t play games, speak your mind

The explanation for getting to the point preference comes from our trait that searches for meaning and purpose. I must emphasize once more, we love having a good laugh. But there’s a difference between fun and hurting someone. Allow me to explain.

Imagine this scenario: You like someone and you are sending signals to that person that you like them. You start letting them know this in your own unique way. But they are playing with your mind, sending mixed messages, or late-responsive ones with unclear reasons why, childish sentences, and the list goes on and on.

The situation above happened to me more times than I can count. This is why I’m always crystal clear with my intentions. I don’t play mind games that will hurt anyone’s feelings and emotions. Instead, I always insist for that individual to speak their mind and be completely honest.

I want you to remember what I’m about to say. The worst truth will hurt less than the best lie.

So the question is, why this type of behavior doesn’t suit us? Why it’s more repelling than attracting?

Honesty is attractive

The answer is because we like authenticity. We value honesty, respect, and understanding. We also fully realize that there is a small amount of people who will give us that feedback at the same level that we so selflessly give. So we just want from that person to honor how we feel and be frank with us.

There are many people that are always open for jokes and fun. But that needs to be only until the point where our emotions are not being toyed with. I consider myself to have a very broad and weird sense of humor, but I can’t laugh over a fact that someone uses my kindness in a negative way.

It doesn’t matter how young or old you are, this behavior can be universal. And in most cases, there’s no bad intent behind it. I want to believe that people mean no harm when they sometimes make jokes about how we feel. But there’s a thin line between understanding and insult.

This is why honesty can be so damn attractive! Tell us what the situation really is, and don’t play with how we feel. This acts like a magnet that will draw us closer to you. But we all have our limits when it comes to hurtful behavior. There’s an incredible quote from a famous Canadian poet Najwa Zebian that perfectly explains how we react to coldness, mean jokes, and indifference:

“Fear the day a good heart gives up on you. A heart does not turn cold unless it’s been treated with coldness for a while.”

Your heart can withstand so much, and that’s the truth. It can sustain enormous levels of being hurt, and still find a way to shine and spread the light. I like comparing it with a lighthouse that shows the way. 🙂

So give that gentle, light-spreading miracle in your chest a gift in the form of a presence of someone who will not toy with it, but cherish it. You earned that kindness. <3

Xo,

Marko


How do you cope when someone makes jokes about your emotions? What’s your defense mechanism? We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Why We Sabotage Our Own Happiness

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friends,

We tend to have a bad habit of sabotaging ourselves when we’re at a good point in our life. It’s as if we’re actively searching for a self-destruct button every time when we are happy. Self-sabotage has it’s root deeply embedded into the core of every personality types. Understanding why we do this is a bit tricky, but it can be conquered and understood.

Why do we sabotage ourselves?

The main reason why we sabotage our own happiness may be difficult to hear. It took me quite a while to accept it, but once I did, I managed to end this vicious circle. It’s because most of us want for everyone to be happy, but that we are somehow excluded from it. So when happiness finds us, we start overthinking because we think we’re not worthy to feel it.

The primary focus should be to fully enjoy these joyful moments, but we choose something else. Does this sound familiar: “This is good, but I should be careful, maybe something bad is coming…” And there you have it our friends, instant recipe for overthinking. We completely disregard our own success, and replace it with overthinking and sabotaging thoughts.

I sabotaged almost every win I ever had. It doesn’t matter how meaningful it was, I always thought that something bad is looking at me behind the corner. So instead of being genuinely happy, I disregarded what I achieved, and went into caution mode to avoid any possible disappointment that may come.

Guided by my own self-sabotage experiences from the past, I want to tell you…

Be happy in the now

There’s no such thing as a small or a big achievement. Every victory you experience, personal or a business, is meaningful! Don’t rank it by size, because you will only succeed in shrinking yourself. You did it, you won, so stop there. Don’t go further. You did all you could, where you were, and with what you had. You did more than enough.

As I mentioned, in the past I always sabotaged what I did. I just couldn’t make myself to be happy for my accomplishments. However, I started nurturing myself after every win, instead of seeking what I could have done to improve it. When you reach your goal, when you just enjoy what you did, embrace it with no add-ons.

The best way I found to conquer self-sabotage is through a simple exercise that’ll only take you 5 min.

Look around you and where you are now. You’re reading this article, which means you’re safe. Nothing bad is happening to you right now at this very moment. Acknowledge that you are not in any danger, and don’t think what will happen tomorrow. In this present moment, you are good. Please repeat this as many times as you need until you remember it.

Ground yourself in your current location, because this mindset shift will help you accept the reality. You are safe, and you can be happy.

Sometimes, our biggest wins come from quietest moments.

Self-Sabotage is not your default state

As you’re looking around your room, or a coffee shop, or nature, nothing bad is happening to you. So now your mind has the space to be happy with what you achieved.

You’re probably asking yourself: “But Marko, I’m not sure what I achieved?”

Aren’t you still here? You’re breathing and your existence is making someone happy whether you see it or not. Wins don’t always come in forms of promotions, money, or career… Sometimes, they’re as gentle as reading a message from a loved one telling you how much they love you, or having that peaceful sip of coffee in the morning.

Give yourself the permission to smile about the things most people never notice. When you do, self-sabotage will never again take a hold over you, because you’ll always know what you need to do to make it go away.

So the next time when you win and feel fulfilled, close the door on those self-sabotaging thoughts. Open the window for happiness to come in. It’s your birthright to be happy and bathed with the rays of joy for who you are! 🙂

Xo,

Marko

Do you tend to sabotage your success? What are your thoughts on this topic? We would love to hear from you in the comments below!