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3 Effective Ways To Avoid Conflict

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Hi my friend,

If there’s one thing I don’t like and constantly try to avoid, its conflict. My personality is peaceful by default, and everything that even resembles an argument I tend to escape from. Upon hearing someone raising their voice, all my senses become highly sensitive, especially if there’s disagreement nearby. Sometimes it won’t be possible for you to leave the vicinity where raised voices are, but there’s something you can do.

Why you should avoid conflict

Few years back when I was on a large conference (I was an event manager back then), there were a lot of politicians, actors, and people from the public life present. Despite the fact that I was part of the organization team, true to my INFJ personality, I was standing near the exit (having a glass of wine which I rarely have), and observing.

At some point, a loud argument started between participants who have a difference in opinion due to their different professions. Instead of simply exchanging thoughts, they started arguing loudly and upsetting everyone else. In all honesty, my first instinct was to head for the nearest exit. But the peacemaker in me kicked in, and I wanted to see what can be done to avoid further escalation of this argument.

What I did then didn’t just calmed the situation down, but it also set the foundation on how would I approach conflict for the future. So now I’ll share with you three effective ways I used back then to peacefully handle what was turning out to be much more than just a difference in opinion.

3 Effective Ways To Avoid Conflict

  1. Maintain peaceful voice tonality. Whatever happens, don’t raise your voice. It’s a scientific fact that a human mind reacts defensively upon hearing loud noises. Remain calm and calculated, even if you don’t receive the same treatment. You would be surprised how well all sides will react when they hear your soothing words.
  2. Carefully listen what everyone says. If you want to avoid a conflict escalating, you need to listen everyone’s side of the story. It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, just listen. It will only take few seconds for people around you to calm down when they notice you paying attention to what they say. In today’s world, people listen to reply. So instead, you should listen to understand, which will make all the difference.
  3. Don’t take sides, acknowledge them. I cannot comprehend how important this is. Of course you will immediately recognize who is right. But the thing is, your goal is to avoid further conflict so only confirm what everyone said and perhaps find common ground. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say your what you think. But the best course of action is to verify what everyone said and seek a connecting thought.The next time when you see an impending argument, try to apply one or all of these techniques. I guarantee they will work! This is why I always encourage everyone to always be that voice of reason. 🙂

Be The Peacemaker

It’s amazing how a calm voice, listening ear, and careful attention can have a huge impact in an argument. Maybe it won’t give all the answers, and probably not everyone will be equally pleased with the solution, but it will bring the situation into our element, which is a constructive conversation.

Conflict can be easily avoided if you remember these three amazing traits: attention, listening, and calmness. Use them whenever you can, and observe the marvelous, positive change they will create! 🙂

Love, 

Marko

What do you do to bring peace to an existing argument? What is your experience with this? As always, we would love to hear from you in the comments below!

My Empathy Is Not A Weakness

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Hi friend,

Empathy is one of the most powerful forces in nature. It’s also one of those feelings that you can’t have too much of. It can sometimes cause certain discomfort, but what it represents if far more meaningful. Having a strong sense of understanding like this is not something you should be ashamed of.

My problem with expressing care

A while back, a fair number of my coaching clients asked me is empathy actually a weakness. My answer was always the same, of course not. I firmly believe that deep feelings and understanding we have for the emotions of those around us can’t be a bad thing.

However, as much as I hate to admit it, I didn’t always think like this. In the past, when I was going through a genuine identity crisis, as I couldn’t find my purpose in life, I thought that hiding my care and concern would help me reach that goal faster.

So I started playing the “I don’t care” card. The only thing I managed to accomplish by doing this is to be more lonely and isolated. Mind you, I’m an introvert, so solitude is something I fully embrace. But being alone and lonely are two very different things.

Misguided by the opinions of others, I started believing that empathy is actually a weakness. Good thing is, it didn’t take long for me to realize how wrong I was, and how this decision was impacting my life.

I’m glad I went through this experience of seeing empathy through crooked lens, so that I can share with you why it’s actually one of our biggest strengths. 🙂

Strong Empathy Is Not A Weakness

Empathy represents care, goodness, and kindness that can radiate from anyone. There’s no such thing as being overly empathic. You’ll rarely find a more wonderful feeling than giving support to a person who is suffering, or just needs a listening ear.

It’s not just the fact that it’s our greatest strength, but it also represents us. When you show this pure, loving emotion of genuine care, all the doors will open for you. People will share their stories with you, they’ll trust you, and you’ll be able to establish deep, meaningful connections all of us strive to have.

Furthermore, understanding that empathy is not a weakness will bring you a level of self-acceptance many never manage to achieve. You’ll be able to understand yourself better, and reach your purpose using that surge of powerful emotions.

No one is telling you that you need to carry all the problems of the world on your back, or that you should feel what everyone else feels. This would be extremely overwhelming and impossible.

Try to channel your empathy on those closest to you first. This is the best way you can learn to direct that concern to those you love, but also train yourself to keep it under control.

Speaking of control…

Empathy needs to have a boundary

As I said before, it’s not your duty to save everyone. People don’t want to be saved, they want to be listened and acknowledged. This is why empathy is not a weakness, because it gives you the ability to do more than just listening. It gives you the chance to share the pain with that special someone, and be there to help them go through it.

So the next time when your partner, friend, or a family member is going through a difficult time, don’t hesitate. Act on that signal your empathy is sending you and listen. It’s not going to be easy to see our loved ones struggling, but I promise you that your empathic presence will make things more bearable.

Whenever you hear that empathy is a weakness, and if you experience judgment because you are an empath, be proud of yourself. Because despite everything bad that happens around us, you my dear friend chose another path. You chose to be kind, generous, and understanding. You took the road less traveled and you’re making a beautiful difference. 🙂

Love,

Marko

How strong is your empathy? Would you say it’s a strength, too? I would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments below!

P.S Make sure you like our Dauntless Inspiration Facebook Page, and stay tuned for some exciting news we will announce soon! 🙂

Why You Should Expand, Not Leave Your Comfort Zone

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Hi my friend,

I never believed that leaving your comfort zone brings success. You will hear these words almost everywhere. Coaches use it, commercials advertise it, and even people close to us advice it. Upon hearing this, I always asked myself: “Why should I leave something if it makes me feel comfortable? Why not just expand it, rather than leave it completely?”

My comfort zone story

The truth is, people who give this advice mean good. There is really no harm behind their words. But for many, they can spark anxiety and overwhelm. Lot of people don’t like rapid and sudden changes, and instead thrive on careful planning, calculation, and preparation. Truth is, we would rather do it in a calm and a calculated fashion.

Almost two years ago, I relocated to another continent, half across the globe, and started living in Calgary (Canada) alone in order to find my bigger why. My family members and friends were surprised by my decision to say the least. So I received praises like: “Good job! You’re leaving your comfort zone, that’s why you’ll succeed.”

However, what they didn’t see were the months of planning and preparations before making it this trip. I planned all the major details, to make sure that my comfort zone is going with me on this journey. For me, it was a small laptop and a tiny diary that could fit in my pocket. 🙂

Even though I did leave my comfort zone and made this radical change, I did it after I planned everything that I possibly could. You see, I’m like a walking planner. I try to foresee every possible outcome, good and bad, before I make a decision. This situation was no different.

What many close to me failed to realize back then was, I wasn’t leaving my zone of comfort entirely. I was actually expanding it.

How does expanding your comfort zone works?

Imagine the expansion of a comfort zone as walking. When you make that first step, you are expanding it. The second step that follows is your comfort zone. So you are basically bringing it with you everywhere you go. Like a friendly shadow.

Sure, walking is not running and it’s slower. But it’s more peaceful, calm, it gives you freedom of choice, ability to choose which road to take without rushing, and you’re doing all this with the comfort of not having to speed up things.

Leaving the place that makes you feel secure is not a guarantee of success. Far from it. There’s nothing wrong of taking it with you. Whatever you plan to do, whether it’s a career, relationship, or other important decision, you don’t have to abandon the safety that gives you confidence. Bring it with you on your journey, because it will be a game changer for you.

It’s your decision in the end

Whatever advice or insight you may hear from others, it’s your decision in the end. Reaching your goal can be accomplished even when you are carrying that gentle turtle shell with you that makes you feel safe. We all have different paths, but remember that it’s up to you to decide how you will make your plans a reality.

Your comfort zone may give you the necessary strength to fulfill your dreams. Don’t leave it, expand it instead. For me, it was a small laptop filled with thoughts I gathered throughout the years. For you, it can be whatever you desire it to be. One quote from an unknown author wonderfully describes the feelings of so many when comfort zone is being described:

“You have no idea how far out of my comfort zone my entire life is.”

So you see my dear friend, we need that comfort, more than anything. Embrace it as a fuel to propel yourself, and be all that you can be! 🙂

Love,

Marko

What are your thoughts on expanding your comfort zone rather than leaving it? I would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments below!

Why We Love To Travel Alone

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Hi my friend,

I never left my home country before I was 29. Despite having a highly independent personality, I wish I had more travel adventures in my early 20’s. However, I caught the travel bug, and now I’m constantly thinking about new destinations to visit and feeling inspired to do it as often as I can. But I wasn’t always that motivated.

Traveling wasn’t my cup of tea

It was never easy for me to share even a glimpse of my past. Especially when it comes to my unwillingness to change what bothered me. Like a huge barrier, procrastination was a long-time obstacle for me that I never knew how to overcome.

Living in an environment that encouraged you to never do anything that might make your neighbors think you are weird, I thought I was supposed to follow that rule. Traveling for me seemed like a distant star that I could barely see with a telescope.

So I gave up. I accepted that I will never feel the joy of meeting new people, learn about different cultures, and experience how it feels like to dance my way into the night in an Irish Pub stage (I adore Irish music and Irish dance by the way).

But something happened few years back I did not expect. I became a writer, and a chance to travel opened up for me. The very thought of traveling alone warmed my heart. So I had to ask myself…

Why we love to travel alone?

Like I mentioned at the beginning of this article, I am a fiercely independent person. I do cherish my friends more than anything, but freedom and self-care are now important to me as the air I breathe. Luckily, my close friends feel the same way as I do.

You see, many love to travel alone because we can’t settle. I already made a decision that I’ll stay where I currently am (Calgary, Canada) ‘till summer. After that, my road will take me to Europe, and later to the US. Traveling on our own fuels that desire to live the life on our own terms, and not having to explain anything to anyone.

Understand, there’s a good number of people out there that felt guilty for a good chunk of their life, just like I did. But when we’re in a plane, thousands of miles in the air, or in a city where no one knows us, we are in our own element. We can always visit our friends and family. But traveling alone is what makes us happy and fulfilled. Which is why I must address something important.

Don’t make home out of people

I’m not saying you shouldn’t love the ones close to you, or that you should be a nomad. But just imagine the situation where you make a home out of someone, and they leave for some reason. I have two people in my life for whom I would put my hand into fire for. But when you make home out someone and that person leaves, you are left homeless. A lesson I had to learn multiple times, the hard way.

Every time when that lesson came, I felt as if a piece of my soul was torn from me. Not many emotions can hurt us more than abandonment. This is why I encourage you to travel alone. It won’t be an easy experience, but you will find the strength you never knew existed in you.

Don’t forget, your home are not people, it’s within you. It’s not a place either. It’s the inner realization that you are enough, no matter where you are, or with whom you are.

Travel whenever you can!

No matter where you choose to go, you are more than capable to handle every road-trip life throws at you. Book a ticket to somewhere you’ve never been before, and give yourself the gift of an exciting adventure! 🙂

Maybe you will meet someone special, and who knows, perhaps you even find your purpose on your next trip. This is the beauty of traveling alone. You are the captain of your ship, and the navigator at the same time.

What are your thoughts?

Do you love traveling alone too? I would love to hear your experience and thoughts! Feel free to share what you think in the comment section below. 🙂

Love,

Marko

How To Survive A Draining Social Gathering

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Hi friends,

Social gatherings can be incredibly scary. Some meet-ups can bring us joy, but they can also bring overwhelm. It’s not about spending huge chunks of time in crowded places filled with people, we can handle that. Of course we love spending time with those we love, but we also need to be alone with our own thoughts too. That’s why I have a confession.

I love spending meaningful dates alone

First of all, a disclaimer. I love being in the company of those who I see as my family and closest friends. Nothing fills my heart with joy more than seeing friends I haven’t seen for a long time, giving them a hug, and enjoy having meaningful conversations with them.

However, a few years back, I made a decision to start spending meaningful dates alone. One of the reasons why is because I didn’t want to wait for certain days to see the ones I care for. If I want to see someone and if they want to see me, no distance will be too much or too exhausting for us to meet.

I also chose to spend time with those who see me as an important part of their life and not just an option among many. I know the pain of being in a crowded social gathering and feeling more lonely than ever. So I decided, no more of that.

It can be painful to see all those pictures on social networks of happy families being together. We’re human after all. But inner peace plays a huge role in my life, and I would rather be alone, than with those who will completely drain my energy.

If you are having an impending social gathering of any kind, here’s few useful and tested insights you can use to survive it. 🙂

How to survive a social gathering

Before you even go, it’s crucial that you plan your day before the event starts. Clear your schedule and make room for self-care. Maybe you can’t take a day off work, but you can dedicate the rest of the day to yourself.

Choose to do only what makes you feel replenished. For me, that’s playing video games, stargazing, and of course reading and writing. You see, I’m an introvert, and we know that social gathering will probably drain our batteries. This is why taking the time to replenish before everything starts helps so much.

When you are already there, I want you to remember this. You are not obligated to talk to everyone all the time. Just because you showed up doesn’t mean you have to be constantly “on”. Make a bathroom break, go outside for a minute, and get some fresh air. No one will say anything, and even if they do, you don’t need to pay attention to it.

How much you stay depends solely up to you. Please don’t fall under the pressure that you are a party pooper. You don’t owe anything to anyone. You made a decision to come, and only you are responsible when you’ll return home.

During huge family gatherings, those who want to have a breather alone can be an easy prey to that chatty relatives. Even if you find yourself surrounded by them, know that you can leave whenever you choose. And no, you won’t insult anyone, not if they really appreciate and know you.

What to do if you still get overwhelmed

Give yourself the permission to walk away from any social gathering that depletes your energy. You’re not selfish or arrogant, you just need to recharge. I had situations when my family didn’t understand my introverted nature. Of course I felt guilty, so I’m glad I can now tell you this:

You are not hurting anyone by choosing to take care of yourself.

Your true friends will understand. If they don’t, well, it’s time that you consider making some changes in your friendship circle.

Don’t blame yourself for choosing to love who you are. Whether you see it or not, you’re already giving so much of yourself to everyone and that’s a fact. So I think you earned the right to be there for you a little bit.

Meaningful dates can be rough, especially if you have many relatives and friends coming over. But whatever you choose to do, don’t forget to accept the fact that it’s your decision will you have a great time or a draining one.

I hope you’ll make a decision to look after yourself whenever a draining social gathering comes. You owe yourself that my dear friend. 🙂

It’s your turn

What are your thoughts on big social gatherings? How are you handling them? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below, I would love to hear from you!

If you want to be regularly updated with our newest self-development articles, insights and advice, subscribe and be informed about everything we do at Dauntless Inspiration! Did I mention you’ll also get a FREE exercise to precisely pinpoint which area of your life is your greatest strength when you subscribe? 🙂

Xo,

Marko

3 key reasons why Self-Development needs to be your priority

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Hi friends,

Few things matter more in life than establishing priorities. Because we’re all different, we are bound to focus on all sorts of things that’ll make that difference for us. For some, it’s career, solitude, while for others it’s nurturing relationships, while some seek balance. However, not many have fully mastered the skill of focusing on something that they see as a healthy, primary goal in life.

Why Self-Development needs to be a priority

As much as humans are social creatures, we need to spend time in solitude too. Part of that time needs to be spent in resting and recuperating. However, we can also do something that not many are prepared to do unfortunately.

Self-Development makes such an important difference because it gives us the chance to improve so many aspects of who we are. It doesn’t matter whether you want to work on your daily habits, change your way of thinking, or improve your communication, it’s all vital for your development as a person.

When I was a teenager and going through the most difficult time in my life (bullying, lack of support from my family, and no friends at all), I didn’t realize how much working on myself would be beneficial. In a way, I was avoiding to admit it was time for me to turn inwards a little bit more. So I was stagnating in every sense of the word, allowing the toxic environment to swallow me without even trying to resist.

Please know, I understand that sometimes circumstances can be so hard that the last thing on our mind is self-development and making it a priority. We just want to survive the day and reach the comfort of our bed. Trust me, I’ve been there. But that’s why this inner work is so vital, because it gives you a chance to encourage and lift yourself up, even when there’s no one there to help you do it.

For that reason, I’m sharing with you three critical reasons why Self-Development needs to be your priority.

1. You’ll find your purpose and your bigger why in life. When you start focusing on what you really want to do and where you want to be, it’s inevitable for you to find your purpose. By continuously working on that dream and goal of yours, you’re allowing the universe to open doors you never knew existed.

2. You’ll attract other like-minded souls who will support you. No matter what you believe in, whether it’s God, Universe, Karma, or Energy, your actions and behavior will attract others who will share your values. Self-Development is like a universal call to everyone who wants to support you on this journey, and that’s exactly what you’ll get.  🙂

3. You’ll find your calling. There are so many people who are unhappy with what they do. But when you actively work on what makes your heart sing, that career you have been waiting for will find it’s way to you through just one simple email, phone call, or a message. This is not something that “might” happen, but rather something that will happen.

Remind yourself that we maybe can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can choose how to react to it. By making Self-Development one of your priorities, you’re giving yourself permission to reach something most people never manage to do. It’s to experience that ever-elusive victory within.

Here at Dauntless inspiration, we will actively encourage you to be who you are, regardless of what anyone else says or does. You’re not selfish by focusing on yourself, because you earned that right. The right people, the ones who are meant to be in your life will support you in this noble quest.

Co-Founder of DI, Giselle Loayza and I are one of them. You are not alone my friend. 🙂

It’s your turn

Where is Self-Development on your priority list? How important it is for you? As always, we would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. 🙂

Xo,

Marko

Go do your thing, no matter what!

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

 

Hi my friends,

We all have something that inspires us. Whether this a person we love, an object that has a deeper meaning in our mind, or an event that started something beautiful. Inspiration is all around us. It’s like an engine that maybe won’t always start, but it will roar when we need it the most. Yet, many don’t bring the keys to turn it on.

Why do we run from happiness?

We didn’t choose the name Dauntless Inspiration by accident. For us, it represents everything we strive to become. We created it, so that we could show you that you don’t need to chase happiness, because it’s not something you need to catch. Being happy is the natural state that’s already in you.

However, many relentlessly run from it, and I wasn’t different. I forgot that one day it will be over.

Every time when I would achieve certain success in life, whether that is meeting a potential, loving partner, or getting a promotion, I would subconsciously sabotage it. I was afraid to be happy, because I thought that if I end it first, I wouldn’t feel the pain of abandonment and rejection.

Just like many, I ran from happiness so that I could victimize myself and feel miserable by choice. Please don’t be hard on yourself if you can relate to what I just wrote here. Believe it or not, it’s not your fault. We are human after all, and no one is perfect.

We run from happiness, because we believe it will hurt less if we’re the ones who leave first, that it will be less painful if we quit and break up. It hurts my heart to see people letting go of someone or something that can genuinely make them happy because of that inner fear we might feel pain.

Well, guess what? You’re gonna be hurt anyway.

Go do your thing!

One of the first things Dauntless Inspiration will show you is that it’s impossible to live your life under a protective bell. If you want to be happy, you’ll need to take risks. You’ll need to expand your comfort zone (not leave it completely), and you have to put your heart on your sleeve.

Please remember what I’m about to say. It’s a hundred times better to live your life and be hurt over and over again, than just exist and never feel anything. How are you going to feel joy if you don’t know what sorrow is? How are you going to be happy if you don’t know how to be sad?

One day, you’re going to die. It will end and there’s nothing you can do about it. Go do your thing! Maybe you will fail miserably, and maybe you will succeed, but nothing will happen if you don’t do what you want to do and go where you want to be! One day it will be over, so start living.

If you’re still having doubts about how and where to begin, I got good news for you. You came to the right place to find out. Here at Dauntless, we don’t see a problem, we only see a path to a solution. We don’t know what the word mistake means, because there are no mistakes in life, only lessons. Last but not least, there’s no such thing as impossible in our eyes, only more time to work on it.

Keep following us and we’ll show you now, that’s a promise!

One of my favorite quotes from the movie “Treasure Planet” perfectly depicts the philosophy of Dauntless Inspiration:

“You got the makings of greatness in you, but you gotta take the helm and chart your own course! Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes, you’ll get the chance to really test the cut of your sails and show what you’re made of! Well, I hope I’m there, catching some of the light coming off you that day.” – John Silver

One day it will be over, so start living my dear friends! Go do your thing! 🙂

It’s your turn

What does happiness mean to you? How would you describe it, and do you run away from it when it appears? I would love to hear from in the comments section below!

Xo,

Marko