3 Simple Ways To Overcome A Social Hangover

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

Many I had the chance to speak with face this problem. The infamous social hangover that renders our energy and focus to a bare minimum is something many people experienced, including me. It goes without saying that it’s in direct connection with when we are engaged in multiple social activities for days at a time. But there’s a catch. We can only endure so much of it before we become overwhelmed and drained.

Social hangover is real

Since holidays are closing in, you only need to imagine the following scenario. You are surrounded by dozens of people, and are forced to engage in dreaded small talk over and over again. Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, it won’t take long before your energy levels drop to zero.

You start feeling as if you’re suffocating, and in need of fresh air. It’s the kinda feeling we all felt at some point in our life. It’s as if the room isn’t big enough, and you get that claustrophobic sensation to desperately breathe in some fresh air.

This is all too real. Don’t get me wrong, we love our people and want to spend time with them. Humans are social creatures, and spending time with those we cherish the most is amazing! But we also need time with our own thoughts, and the holiday season renders that time almost impossible to get.

No wonder so many of us feel anxious, nervous, and under huge stress realizing, social hangover is real.   

Having said that, I’ll get straight into sharing with you the three most effective ways to overcome social hangover, and to prepare for it before it happens.

3 ways to overcome a social hangover

1. Plan your exit strategy in advance. It’s vital that you plan how you will leave the event before you reach a social hangover moment. Determine how many hours you can stay before approaching that limit. Remember, you are not being selfish, you are protecting yourself, and by doing so, you will also give more focused attention to everyone around you before you decide to leave. Carefully plan how much you can endure before you need to recharge.

2. Expand small talk to a genuine conversation. You will inevitably experience small talk when you’re in a large crowd which is extremely draining. So when you find yourself in a situation like this, try to shift the topic you’re covering to something more meaningful. This will help reduce the social hangover dramatically. For example, if you speak with someone about a book, ask them about the main character, their actions in that specific book, or their thoughts about the message the book brings. Small talk may happen, but that doesn’t mean that you have to stay in that realm.

3. Embrace solitude as a must. I cannot stress how important this is. In order for you to recharge your batteries, you must spend a little bit of time alone, because you have to look after yourself, too. And that means lots of solitude after exhausting events, too much small talk, and being surrounded by people for large quantities of time. You don’t have to surround yourself with complete silence. Put some silent music in the background, be in nature, meditate, journal, play with your furry friend, or simply take a replenishing nap. Anything that will nurture your mind and body will do the trick.

Remember that sometimes social hangovers will happen no matter how much we try to avoid them. But by applying these three simple, but effective techniques, you will be able to conquer social hangover and give that much needed care to yourself. 🙂

Love,

Marko

What’s your experience with social hangovers? Do you have a specific technique how you approach them? We would love to hear from you in the comments below! 🙂

5 Surprising Facts About Marko You Probably Didn’t Know

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

I think it’s time I share with you some details about myself that I never shared before. It dawned to me yesterday while I was daydreaming on a pleasant Saturday afternoon that here at Dauntless I always ask from you to be vulnerable, but in many instances, I don’t do the same. So it’s time to change that.

Without further delay, here are five interesting facts about me that might surprise you.

1. My INFJ discovery. When I found out that I was an INFJ (the rarest personality type), of course I was happy like all INFJs probably are when discovering this. I finally confirmed to myself that there’s nothing wrong with me. But unlike most, it did not bring me clarity. Quite the contrary. It took me some time to accept it, because I wore the extroverted mask for so long, that I believed I was one. My INFJ discovery wasn’t a pleasant beginning.

Small bonus: Couple of my close people are extroverts, so a big shout-out to them for accepting my innie nature. 🙂

2. The bullying. I was bullied most of my life. Starting from childhood, all the way to high school when it got even worse, even physical. I was the quiet kid who was always picked on, never really given a chance to be who I am. I never raised my voice and I never sought revenge. Instead, I chose my books and solitude as two best friends at the time when I had none. Not many know this, but the reason why I don’t sleep much at night is because I have nightmares on a regular basis due to the bullying I went through as a teenager.

3. Public appearance careers. Know any job where you’re in the spotlight? Well, I did most of them in the past. I was a journalist, event-organizer, announcer, human resources manager, public speaker, customer support agent… Before what I do now at Dauntless Inspiration alongside my dear friend Giselle, I did all those jobs that asked me to always be in the center of attention. For an introvert, that’s not a good combination as we rather want to stay behind the scenes.

4. New Beginning. I never left the borders of my home country for 29 years, (Serbia) before moving to Canada back in March 2018. I’m 31 now. It took me more than five years of preparation to reach the point where I am currently. Only a couple of people know the full extent of what I was going through. It wasn’t easy, but I somehow managed to pull it off. But in order to do that, I left my 9/5 job, moved to a smaller city to save money, had to fully let go the former version of myself, and lost all my friends while preparing to make that leap of faith. You must understand, not everyone agreed with me on what I wanted to do. Well, almost no one did.

5. My bigger why in life. When someone asks me what is my purpose, I only tell them: People. When you grow up lonely and without friends (I don’t have that close of a bond with my family, never did), you do your best to find your people, those who understand and accept you for who you are. My purpose in life is to be there for those I love the most. It’s to never allow the grip of loneliness to embrace them. They are few in numbers, but they are my anchors.

And now, here’s one fact I was really scared to share.

The big surprise…

As much as I want to make a global difference with Dauntless Inspiration, and I know I will do that alongside my amazing friend Giselle, there’s one thing I kept too long to myself. So it’s time for me to let it out.

The goal that pushes me forward, the reason why I travel so much, the wind behind my back, that bigger why in life I talked about to me is to sit next to someone I care for the most. Just to sit next to them. To listen and talk about something meaningful, or just simple things.

Years of isolation and focusing only on career taught me that no amount of money, influence, or power will hold your hand when you need to let it all out. It won’t hug you when you land on that airport, and it won’t tell you: “I enjoy you.”

So if life ever presents me a choice, to choose between my career I sacrificed so much for, or the people I love more than myself? Well, I will not blink twice if I ever have to make that choice. 🙂

I want you to know…

Me in Seattle, April 2019 (I had major conflict should I post a picture of myself lol!)

You will accomplish a lot in life on your own. As in, hella lot. But be vulnerable when you can, and trust the ones you cherish the most. Not because you will give your heart on a sleeve, and thus maybe allow someone to hurt you, but because this is how you’ll find the people who are meant to enter your life, and stay.

These people, the ones who stay no matter how difficult to love you believe you are (and you’re not), they will be your courage, your strength, and your light when all other lights go out.

If you haven’t found them yet, please keep searching, and know that there’s one soul writing this article who is there to listen and cheer for you, no matter what. 🙂

Love,
Marko

I literally poured my heart in this article, so I would love to hear what you think. What are your thoughts on the choices life gives us? How much are you willing to sacrifice to reach the place where you wanna be, and be with those you love?

First Official Dauntless Inspiration Interview!

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

We have incredibly exciting news for you!

You’re among the first who will see our very own official Dauntless Inspiration interview with Katherine Denton Pomerantz! Woohoo! 

Now a little bit about Katherine and what can you expect to see in the recording that we’ll share with you today

In this interview, Katherine, the owner of TheBookkeepingArtist.com, goes into detail about her story of how she went from working as an actress to becoming a successful business owner of her own accounting firm and becoming a financial expert, all in a span of just one year!

We hope you will enjoy watching this interview as much as we loved every minute making it! 🙂

Huge thanks to Katherine for her patience, kindness, generosity, and professionalism! She is a genuine inspiration!
We so appreciate her giving, caring nature, and incredible professionalism!

Hope you’ll love the interview!

Xo,

Giselle & Marko

If you want to learn more about Katherine and get in touch with her directly, please follow this link to her website, or check out her Facebook Page.

I Don’t Play Games, Speak Your Mind!

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

I never liked playing games. When I say games, I mean the ones where someone is literally playing with our feelings and emotions. Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to have fun sometimes, no harm in that. But the kind of games I’m talking about here always send a chill through my spine.

I don’t play games, speak your mind

The explanation for getting to the point preference comes from our trait that searches for meaning and purpose. I must emphasize once more, we love having a good laugh. But there’s a difference between fun and hurting someone. Allow me to explain.

Imagine this scenario: You like someone and you are sending signals to that person that you like them. You start letting them know this in your own unique way. But they are playing with your mind, sending mixed messages, or late-responsive ones with unclear reasons why, childish sentences, and the list goes on and on.

The situation above happened to me more times than I can count. This is why I’m always crystal clear with my intentions. I don’t play mind games that will hurt anyone’s feelings and emotions. Instead, I always insist for that individual to speak their mind and be completely honest.

I want you to remember what I’m about to say. The worst truth will hurt less than the best lie.

So the question is, why this type of behavior doesn’t suit us? Why it’s more repelling than attracting?

Honesty is attractive

The answer is because we like authenticity. We value honesty, respect, and understanding. We also fully realize that there is a small amount of people who will give us that feedback at the same level that we so selflessly give. So we just want from that person to honor how we feel and be frank with us.

There are many people that are always open for jokes and fun. But that needs to be only until the point where our emotions are not being toyed with. I consider myself to have a very broad and weird sense of humor, but I can’t laugh over a fact that someone uses my kindness in a negative way.

It doesn’t matter how young or old you are, this behavior can be universal. And in most cases, there’s no bad intent behind it. I want to believe that people mean no harm when they sometimes make jokes about how we feel. But there’s a thin line between understanding and insult.

This is why honesty can be so damn attractive! Tell us what the situation really is, and don’t play with how we feel. This acts like a magnet that will draw us closer to you. But we all have our limits when it comes to hurtful behavior. There’s an incredible quote from a famous Canadian poet Najwa Zebian that perfectly explains how we react to coldness, mean jokes, and indifference:

“Fear the day a good heart gives up on you. A heart does not turn cold unless it’s been treated with coldness for a while.”

Your heart can withstand so much, and that’s the truth. It can sustain enormous levels of being hurt, and still find a way to shine and spread the light. I like comparing it with a lighthouse that shows the way. 🙂

So give that gentle, light-spreading miracle in your chest a gift in the form of a presence of someone who will not toy with it, but cherish it. You earned that kindness. <3

Xo,

Marko


How do you cope when someone makes jokes about your emotions? What’s your defense mechanism? We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

3 Effective Ways To Avoid Conflict

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Hi my friend,

If there’s one thing I don’t like and constantly try to avoid, its conflict. My personality is peaceful by default, and everything that even resembles an argument I tend to escape from. Upon hearing someone raising their voice, all my senses become highly sensitive, especially if there’s disagreement nearby. Sometimes it won’t be possible for you to leave the vicinity where raised voices are, but there’s something you can do.

Why you should avoid conflict

Few years back when I was on a large conference (I was an event manager back then), there were a lot of politicians, actors, and people from the public life present. Despite the fact that I was part of the organization team, true to my INFJ personality, I was standing near the exit (having a glass of wine which I rarely have), and observing.

At some point, a loud argument started between participants who have a difference in opinion due to their different professions. Instead of simply exchanging thoughts, they started arguing loudly and upsetting everyone else. In all honesty, my first instinct was to head for the nearest exit. But the peacemaker in me kicked in, and I wanted to see what can be done to avoid further escalation of this argument.

What I did then didn’t just calmed the situation down, but it also set the foundation on how would I approach conflict for the future. So now I’ll share with you three effective ways I used back then to peacefully handle what was turning out to be much more than just a difference in opinion.

3 Effective Ways To Avoid Conflict

  1. Maintain peaceful voice tonality. Whatever happens, don’t raise your voice. It’s a scientific fact that a human mind reacts defensively upon hearing loud noises. Remain calm and calculated, even if you don’t receive the same treatment. You would be surprised how well all sides will react when they hear your soothing words.
  2. Carefully listen what everyone says. If you want to avoid a conflict escalating, you need to listen everyone’s side of the story. It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, just listen. It will only take few seconds for people around you to calm down when they notice you paying attention to what they say. In today’s world, people listen to reply. So instead, you should listen to understand, which will make all the difference.
  3. Don’t take sides, acknowledge them. I cannot comprehend how important this is. Of course you will immediately recognize who is right. But the thing is, your goal is to avoid further conflict so only confirm what everyone said and perhaps find common ground. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say your what you think. But the best course of action is to verify what everyone said and seek a connecting thought.The next time when you see an impending argument, try to apply one or all of these techniques. I guarantee they will work! This is why I always encourage everyone to always be that voice of reason. 🙂

Be The Peacemaker

It’s amazing how a calm voice, listening ear, and careful attention can have a huge impact in an argument. Maybe it won’t give all the answers, and probably not everyone will be equally pleased with the solution, but it will bring the situation into our element, which is a constructive conversation.

Conflict can be easily avoided if you remember these three amazing traits: attention, listening, and calmness. Use them whenever you can, and observe the marvelous, positive change they will create! 🙂

Love, 

Marko

What do you do to bring peace to an existing argument? What is your experience with this? As always, we would love to hear from you in the comments below!

How To Survive A Draining Social Gathering

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Hi friends,

Social gatherings can be incredibly scary. Some meet-ups can bring us joy, but they can also bring overwhelm. It’s not about spending huge chunks of time in crowded places filled with people, we can handle that. Of course we love spending time with those we love, but we also need to be alone with our own thoughts too. That’s why I have a confession.

I love spending meaningful dates alone

First of all, a disclaimer. I love being in the company of those who I see as my family and closest friends. Nothing fills my heart with joy more than seeing friends I haven’t seen for a long time, giving them a hug, and enjoy having meaningful conversations with them.

However, a few years back, I made a decision to start spending meaningful dates alone. One of the reasons why is because I didn’t want to wait for certain days to see the ones I care for. If I want to see someone and if they want to see me, no distance will be too much or too exhausting for us to meet.

I also chose to spend time with those who see me as an important part of their life and not just an option among many. I know the pain of being in a crowded social gathering and feeling more lonely than ever. So I decided, no more of that.

It can be painful to see all those pictures on social networks of happy families being together. We’re human after all. But inner peace plays a huge role in my life, and I would rather be alone, than with those who will completely drain my energy.

If you are having an impending social gathering of any kind, here’s few useful and tested insights you can use to survive it. 🙂

How to survive a social gathering

Before you even go, it’s crucial that you plan your day before the event starts. Clear your schedule and make room for self-care. Maybe you can’t take a day off work, but you can dedicate the rest of the day to yourself.

Choose to do only what makes you feel replenished. For me, that’s playing video games, stargazing, and of course reading and writing. You see, I’m an introvert, and we know that social gathering will probably drain our batteries. This is why taking the time to replenish before everything starts helps so much.

When you are already there, I want you to remember this. You are not obligated to talk to everyone all the time. Just because you showed up doesn’t mean you have to be constantly “on”. Make a bathroom break, go outside for a minute, and get some fresh air. No one will say anything, and even if they do, you don’t need to pay attention to it.

How much you stay depends solely up to you. Please don’t fall under the pressure that you are a party pooper. You don’t owe anything to anyone. You made a decision to come, and only you are responsible when you’ll return home.

During huge family gatherings, those who want to have a breather alone can be an easy prey to that chatty relatives. Even if you find yourself surrounded by them, know that you can leave whenever you choose. And no, you won’t insult anyone, not if they really appreciate and know you.

What to do if you still get overwhelmed

Give yourself the permission to walk away from any social gathering that depletes your energy. You’re not selfish or arrogant, you just need to recharge. I had situations when my family didn’t understand my introverted nature. Of course I felt guilty, so I’m glad I can now tell you this:

You are not hurting anyone by choosing to take care of yourself.

Your true friends will understand. If they don’t, well, it’s time that you consider making some changes in your friendship circle.

Don’t blame yourself for choosing to love who you are. Whether you see it or not, you’re already giving so much of yourself to everyone and that’s a fact. So I think you earned the right to be there for you a little bit.

Meaningful dates can be rough, especially if you have many relatives and friends coming over. But whatever you choose to do, don’t forget to accept the fact that it’s your decision will you have a great time or a draining one.

I hope you’ll make a decision to look after yourself whenever a draining social gathering comes. You owe yourself that my dear friend. 🙂

It’s your turn

What are your thoughts on big social gatherings? How are you handling them? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below, I would love to hear from you!

If you want to be regularly updated with our newest self-development articles, insights and advice, subscribe and be informed about everything we do at Dauntless Inspiration! Did I mention you’ll also get a FREE exercise to precisely pinpoint which area of your life is your greatest strength when you subscribe? 🙂

Xo,

Marko