Difficult Truth About Making Friends

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

It’s not easy making friends. It’s difficult meeting someone new. Going through the entire process all over again when you know how many times you’ve been hurt in the past causes a lot of anxiety. Whoever told you time heals everything was wrong. It helps, but some scars remain. I should know.

Always The Outsider

As long as I can remember, I was always the outsider. Being alone is something I embrace as an introvert, but humans are social creatures. We need the presence of those we love the most in our life. But that wasn’t the case in my childhood, especially teen years.

What I’m about to share is something I never talked about publicly. So please forgive me if the words you see seem a little disjointed. It’s taking me everything I got to focus, and not burst into tears (yes, I’m that emotional).

Throughout my life, rarely did I have understanding from those closest to me. That changed couple of years back, but we’re talking about the time when my only friend was, a video game.

The validation and acceptance I desperately wanted never came. So I had to find another way to find lift myself when no else was there. I started playing video games to escape the real world and that seemed to worked, at least for a while.

I had to leave my room sometimes though. The moment that happened I faced mockery, judgment, rejection, and continuous lack of support. The worst part was that I couldn’t talk to anyone, because the society where I grew up in casts aside everyone who is different in any way.

This entire chapter of my life I described above shaped me into the person I am today, and showed me one difficult, but in a way, liberating truth.

It’s Not Easy To Make Friends

It took me almost 30 years to finally reach a point where I have a healthy support system in place. People walk out of our lives for various reasons. Some make sense, some not. So most of us have a difficult time making new friends.

This is not because there’s something wrong with you, or because you’re difficult to love. You’re not too much, and you’re not worthless. None of this is true, and I absolutely refuse to believe it.

The truth is, it’s difficult to connect with other human beings. I’m not talking about small talk or temporary business encounters. I’m talking about that genuine, deep, meaningful connection we want to have with someone.

I’ll be completely honest, there are only three people in my life with whom I managed to create that authentic bond. Even though I deeply respect those from my past that could be on this list, by their own choice they are not longer in my life so they’re not applicable to be included.

It’s not easy to make friends because we’re tired of fake relationships, temporary connections, and people who just want to use us.

However, despite the fact that meeting someone who might just be that friend we were looking for is ridiculously hard, it’s possible. 🙂

So the question is, how will we know?

You’ll Know It When It Happens

There’s no scientific method or a course that will show you how this happens. It just does. So how will you know?

You’ll just know. In you heart, you’ll feel you found this person who will be someone who’ll listen, support, love, understand, and accept you just the way you are. Unconditionally.

Deep within, down to the very core of your soul, you’ll know you found a friend. <3

Xo,
Marko

I’ve put a lot of emotions into this article, so I would love to hear your experiences with making friends in the comment section. Is this difficult for you, too?

P.S When time allows you, check out our private Facebook Group where you’ll be accepted, encouraged, supported, and listened, just the way you are. 🙂

Why You Need To Believe In Others

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

The inner strength we as humans have knows no bounds. It’s almost limitless. However, we can’t do everything alone. Believe me, I tried. Five years ago I thought that I could do everything by myself, but the only thing I succeeded is overwhelming my mind and heart. That’s why you need to put a little faith and trust in others, too.

Why it’s important to believe in others

I know that people hurt you in the past, and that you’re probably feeling hurt even now. I’m also fully aware that you might hold some reservations towards certain ones who made you cry, and made you feel as if you are not worthy. But this article is not about them.

This is about me telling you that there’s still some good left in this world. There is still kindness to be found in others. Through the dozens of emails Giselle and I receive every week, we see and feel your pain. Every sentence I read brings me back to my past when I was hurt too. I was abandoned, rejected, humiliated, and mocked more times than I can count. But I never lost faith in people.

This is an important article for me because it symbolizes that life will lead you to the right people. But this is not about me. It’s about one person who has seen something in me when I couldn’t. It’s about a person who saw that strength of my heart when it was just beating without direction. She is my inspiration, my friend, she is my hero. When I thought I couldn’t do something and when I saw gray skies above, she was and is there to remind me what matters.

All my gratitude goes to Giselle Loayza, one of the Founders of Dauntless Inspiration and one of my dearest friends. 🙂

You need to believe in people

You need to believe in people my dear friend. No matter how many times you got hurt.  This is coming from someone who perfectly understands you, and who went through a lot of painful events that left their mark. There will always be those who will never understand you, but that’s okay. Please don’t lose hope in others because of these negative experiences. They happened so that they could show you exactly who you don’t want to be.

Heroes exist. I’ve met mine, and I refuse to believe that humanity is a lost cause. Forgive them, give someone a second chance, and let go of the past, but don’t forget to protect yourself too. Believe in others, not because you want to please everyone, but because this is how you will change the world. You will change your life when you put a little faith in that someone who you see as your friend and an inspiration.

You don’t have to do this alone

Believe in others and I promise you, that kindness and belief will find its way back to you. I am an introvert, but few things recharge me more than having a meaningful talk with someone who is close to my heart.

Wear your heart on a sleeve and be vulnerable. You might get hurt and rejected, but there are far worse things than that. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, is nothing.

See, that’s why believing in others might be risky, but you only need it to happen once for you to see what amazing difference it will make. <3

Love,

Marko

How often are you vulnerable in front of those close to you? What’s your experience with opening up to others? We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below! 🙂

You Can’t Save Everyone

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

If you’re like most people, you want to save everyone. Who can blame you? Like most of us, when you see something is broken, you want to fix it. You see someone is in pain, you want to help them. It’s part of who you are. Now you’re probably thinking: “But this is what I should do, I need to be there for everyone who need me”. Well not exactly. Hear me out.

You cannot save everyone

We want to make sure that not just the people we cherish the most are safe, but also the ones around us, and pretty much everybody we meet. Whatever bad you see is happening in today’s world, it’s in human nature to try and help. However, this is when problems start to appear.

This is the unspoken truth and something you might not want to hear, but I’ll be crazy direct and honest.  You can’t save everyone, and you shouldn’t. You cannot change anyone, and you shouldn’t even try. Period.

Believe me when I say, I tried. I gave it everything I got to save my potential partners from themselves, to save my friends from their own toxic thoughts, and even my family from all the arguments. I want this article to be eye-opening for you my dear friend, because it’s not your duty to fix anyone.

I’m 31 now, and I was always the one who would try to solve and repair everything. So as weird as this sounds, I’m glad I can’t make everything right. It was a burden my shoulders could never carry. You need to remember…

People don’t need to be saved

You need someone in your life who won’t need your constant help and presence. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean you should be careless and distant, but you need to understand, it’s not your job to be there for everyone all the time. The painful truth is, many people don’t want to be saved.

Many are so enjoying being the victim and nothing you do will change that pattern of behavior. You’ll actually meet heavy resistance. I had my fair share of relationships and friendships in the past when I was only called when someone needed something or when things got bad.

When everything was good, it’s like I never existed. Don’t allow yourself to be in that position, because one person needs you more than anyone else


YOU!

Be there for the ones you love the most, but never forget to put yourself as a priority. I’ll now share something personal with you, and I’m a little nervous being this vulnerable. A good number of people contacted me in recent weeks, seeking my attention. I haven’t spoken with most of them for many months and even years.

So I decided, as much as every atom of my body wanted to, to not act on that feeling and help everyone who reached out. I chose to be there for myself, the ones who are there for me, and those who were by my side when no one else was. At that moment, I felt a sense of freedom I haven’t felt in a long time.

I felt guilty at the beginning though. But I made a conscious choice to focus on the ones who actually make the effort to reach out and show me that they care for me, too. By prioritizing the ones who see me as an important part of their life, I made myself a priority too.

Now I give my energy (which levels are drastically increased by the way) only to the few who earned it, and they return it to me in abundance. I want to make a difference in this world and reach out to as many people as possible, but I’ll always put myself first. Not because I’m selfish or arrogant, but because in the end, how will you help someone, if you can’t help yourself, dearest? <3

Love,

Marko

Have you ever been called a savior? Can you relate with what I wrote in this article? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Why Is Setting Goals So Important?

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

One of the greatest feats of strength is our ability to set goals and relentlessly work on them. The sheer thrill of knowing that our dreams are possible to accomplish makes us happy beyond recognition. If happiness can be described through one action, I believe this would be it. However, there’s a crucial component many disregard to acknowledge upon starting to search for that bigger why.

You Have Time To Reach Your Goal

The excitement of a challenge can boost our creativity, ambition, motivation, and especially our determination. However, there’s something that can hinder this wonderful feeling. It’s the realization that some goals might not happen right away. The idea of an constant sprint running down this imaginary racetrack is often unrealistic, because knowing more time is needed is essential. So I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m not a patient person.

You need to accept the fact that more time is needed to reach that goal. I can perfectly understand that you want it right here and right now, but if you speed things up, a whole lot of bad things will happen. You might overwhelm yourself, loose your health, and even the sight of that dream you have. And this is just to name a few.

There are all kinds of emotions that’ll try finding their way into our mind when we pursue our goals, including: fear, anxiety, overwhelm, even panic. Then we’ll start asking questions like: “Why is this happening to me?” or “Why things didn’t work out like I planned, and when I planned?”. Ring a bell? Well they made me feel nauseous.

So what would be a good solution for making your most precious dream a reality without all the negative aspects that journey brings?
How can we approach this situation, and preserve our peace of mind at the same time?

Stop Rushing Yourself!

The first thing you have to do is, stop rushing yourself. Everything will happen in the exact moment when it’s supposed to happen, and not a minute sooner. If you speed it up, you will miss out the present moment my friends. And what good is reaching that finishing line if you don’t enjoy what happens before that?

Slow down, take a breather, and then continue. Second, when you set out to do something, and as long as you’re not hurting anyone in any way, move the mountains themselves to do it. If your goal hasn’t arrived yet, it’s because it’s not in season, but it will come. That I assure you.

Last but not least, the third thing you have to do is believe that what you’re going through right now is happening for a reason. I know, this is such a clichĂ© advice. But please hear me out. Everything that is happening, what happened, was/is there to prepare you for everything you are seeking. This is your training camp, and your warm up practice before the big game.

You will reach your goals, have no doubt about it. They are not going anywhere because they are yours, and no one can take them away from you. Whatever it is you are searching right now, is searching you, too!

You may have to face the most difficult test of your life to make that dream a reality. But few feelings and emotions are equal to how you will feel knowing you actually did it. And we know you will. 🙂

So, as we at Dauntless Inspiration always say: GO DO YOUR THING!

Xo,

Marko

Where are you now when it comes to reaching that main goal you have? How do you feel about the journey you’re on to get to it? We would love to hear from you in the comments below! 🙂

Why It’s Okay To Be Vulnerable

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

I always found it difficult to open up to people and be vulnerable. Being hurt so many times, I figured if I keep it all to myself, then no one will be able to hurt me again. But the only thing I managed to do is overwhelm my mind to a point where I felt incredibly lonely. However, there are days when I get a reminder why being vulnerable doesn’t have to be that difficult, and why it’s actually a strength.

Being vulnerable is not a weakness

When you’re being vulnerable in front of someone you cherish, you’re not just opening up to them. Something more happens. You are actively revealing pieces of your soul to that person. You are opening the gates of your inner self, allowing that human to touch your heart, and feel your pain.

I’m not saying that you should share your most private and beloved moments with everyone you meet. Believe me, I did that in the past and got hurt plenty of times.  But every once in a while, you’ll meet someone with whom you will feel that “click” right from the start. You will literally finish each other sentences. 🙂

Vulnerability can be hard, there’s no question about it. Understand, large majority of us were abandoned, hurt, or mocked at some point by the people we thought that will always be there for us. This is why need so much time to trust someone. But opening up is not a weakness. It’s actually one of the most courageous acts you’ll ever do.

Wear your heart on a sleeve

Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. I never believed in the term fearless, because fear is the greatest motivator there is. Even if you get hurt, and face abandonment that scares you so much, open your heart to the selected few whom you trust.

I was always the one who had troubles with being vulnerable to begin with, but because of all those people who left me when I needed them the most, I learned how precious are those who will embrace me, just the way I am.

My support circle is not big, and in fact, in only consists of a few people that I know I can count on at all times. Knowing that, I’m able to wear my heart on a sleeve, and so should you. I know you’re scared of being hurt again. But I can promise you, it will be less painful to be hurt once more, than close your heart forever and be indifferent.

See the good in people

Trust in people and let them in. I cannot promise that everything is going to be okay, but I can assure you that you will feel something many people spend their entire lives trying to find. You will feel free and safe. There isn’t a greater feeling than hearing those three, beautiful words: “I understand you.”

I’m not going to lie, you will be hurt at some point. This is life, and it will happen. But it will all be worth it in the end, because being vulnerable will bring you the right people that will be there when you need them the most.

Reach out to your friends and open your heart and soul. Tell them how you feel, let them know how much they mean to you, and share with them what lies on your mind. In the meantime, allow me to say: I understand you. <3

Xo,

Marko

What are your thoughts on vulnerability? What’s your experience with being vulnerable? We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Why We Sabotage Our Own Happiness

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friends,

We tend to have a bad habit of sabotaging ourselves when we’re at a good point in our life. It’s as if we’re actively searching for a self-destruct button every time when we are happy. Self-sabotage has it’s root deeply embedded into the core of every personality types. Understanding why we do this is a bit tricky, but it can be conquered and understood.

Why do we sabotage ourselves?

The main reason why we sabotage our own happiness may be difficult to hear. It took me quite a while to accept it, but once I did, I managed to end this vicious circle. It’s because most of us want for everyone to be happy, but that we are somehow excluded from it. So when happiness finds us, we start overthinking because we think we’re not worthy to feel it.

The primary focus should be to fully enjoy these joyful moments, but we choose something else. Does this sound familiar: “This is good, but I should be careful, maybe something bad is coming…” And there you have it our friends, instant recipe for overthinking. We completely disregard our own success, and replace it with overthinking and sabotaging thoughts.

I sabotaged almost every win I ever had. It doesn’t matter how meaningful it was, I always thought that something bad is looking at me behind the corner. So instead of being genuinely happy, I disregarded what I achieved, and went into caution mode to avoid any possible disappointment that may come.

Guided by my own self-sabotage experiences from the past, I want to tell you


Be happy in the now

There’s no such thing as a small or a big achievement. Every victory you experience, personal or a business, is meaningful! Don’t rank it by size, because you will only succeed in shrinking yourself. You did it, you won, so stop there. Don’t go further. You did all you could, where you were, and with what you had. You did more than enough.

As I mentioned, in the past I always sabotaged what I did. I just couldn’t make myself to be happy for my accomplishments. However, I started nurturing myself after every win, instead of seeking what I could have done to improve it. When you reach your goal, when you just enjoy what you did, embrace it with no add-ons.

The best way I found to conquer self-sabotage is through a simple exercise that’ll only take you 5 min.

Look around you and where you are now. You’re reading this article, which means you’re safe. Nothing bad is happening to you right now at this very moment. Acknowledge that you are not in any danger, and don’t think what will happen tomorrow. In this present moment, you are good. Please repeat this as many times as you need until you remember it.

Ground yourself in your current location, because this mindset shift will help you accept the reality. You are safe, and you can be happy.

Sometimes, our biggest wins come from quietest moments.

Self-Sabotage is not your default state

As you’re looking around your room, or a coffee shop, or nature, nothing bad is happening to you. So now your mind has the space to be happy with what you achieved.

You’re probably asking yourself: “But Marko, I’m not sure what I achieved?”

Aren’t you still here? You’re breathing and your existence is making someone happy whether you see it or not. Wins don’t always come in forms of promotions, money, or career
 Sometimes, they’re as gentle as reading a message from a loved one telling you how much they love you, or having that peaceful sip of coffee in the morning.

Give yourself the permission to smile about the things most people never notice. When you do, self-sabotage will never again take a hold over you, because you’ll always know what you need to do to make it go away.

So the next time when you win and feel fulfilled, close the door on those self-sabotaging thoughts. Open the window for happiness to come in. It’s your birthright to be happy and bathed with the rays of joy for who you are! 🙂

Xo,

Marko

Do you tend to sabotage your success? What are your thoughts on this topic? We would love to hear from you in the comments below!

Why We Love To Travel Alone

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Hi my friend,

I never left my home country before I was 29. Despite having a highly independent personality, I wish I had more travel adventures in my early 20’s. However, I caught the travel bug, and now I’m constantly thinking about new destinations to visit and feeling inspired to do it as often as I can. But I wasn’t always that motivated.

Traveling wasn’t my cup of tea

It was never easy for me to share even a glimpse of my past. Especially when it comes to my unwillingness to change what bothered me. Like a huge barrier, procrastination was a long-time obstacle for me that I never knew how to overcome.

Living in an environment that encouraged you to never do anything that might make your neighbors think you are weird, I thought I was supposed to follow that rule. Traveling for me seemed like a distant star that I could barely see with a telescope.

So I gave up. I accepted that I will never feel the joy of meeting new people, learn about different cultures, and experience how it feels like to dance my way into the night in an Irish Pub stage (I adore Irish music and Irish dance by the way).

But something happened few years back I did not expect. I became a writer, and a chance to travel opened up for me. The very thought of traveling alone warmed my heart. So I had to ask myself


Why we love to travel alone?

Like I mentioned at the beginning of this article, I am a fiercely independent person. I do cherish my friends more than anything, but freedom and self-care are now important to me as the air I breathe. Luckily, my close friends feel the same way as I do.

You see, many love to travel alone because we can’t settle. I already made a decision that I’ll stay where I currently am (Calgary, Canada) ‘till summer. After that, my road will take me to Europe, and later to the US. Traveling on our own fuels that desire to live the life on our own terms, and not having to explain anything to anyone.

Understand, there’s a good number of people out there that felt guilty for a good chunk of their life, just like I did. But when we’re in a plane, thousands of miles in the air, or in a city where no one knows us, we are in our own element. We can always visit our friends and family. But traveling alone is what makes us happy and fulfilled. Which is why I must address something important.

Don’t make home out of people

I’m not saying you shouldn’t love the ones close to you, or that you should be a nomad. But just imagine the situation where you make a home out of someone, and they leave for some reason. I have two people in my life for whom I would put my hand into fire for. But when you make home out someone and that person leaves, you are left homeless. A lesson I had to learn multiple times, the hard way.

Every time when that lesson came, I felt as if a piece of my soul was torn from me. Not many emotions can hurt us more than abandonment. This is why I encourage you to travel alone. It won’t be an easy experience, but you will find the strength you never knew existed in you.

Don’t forget, your home are not people, it’s within you. It’s not a place either. It’s the inner realization that you are enough, no matter where you are, or with whom you are.

Travel whenever you can!

No matter where you choose to go, you are more than capable to handle every road-trip life throws at you. Book a ticket to somewhere you’ve never been before, and give yourself the gift of an exciting adventure! 🙂

Maybe you will meet someone special, and who knows, perhaps you even find your purpose on your next trip. This is the beauty of traveling alone. You are the captain of your ship, and the navigator at the same time.

What are your thoughts?

Do you love traveling alone too? I would love to hear your experience and thoughts! Feel free to share what you think in the comment section below. 🙂

Love,

Marko

Go do your thing, no matter what!

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

 

Hi my friends,

We all have something that inspires us. Whether this a person we love, an object that has a deeper meaning in our mind, or an event that started something beautiful. Inspiration is all around us. It’s like an engine that maybe won’t always start, but it will roar when we need it the most. Yet, many don’t bring the keys to turn it on.

Why do we run from happiness?

We didn’t choose the name Dauntless Inspiration by accident. For us, it represents everything we strive to become. We created it, so that we could show you that you don’t need to chase happiness, because it’s not something you need to catch. Being happy is the natural state that’s already in you.

However, many relentlessly run from it, and I wasn’t different. I forgot that one day it will be over.

Every time when I would achieve certain success in life, whether that is meeting a potential, loving partner, or getting a promotion, I would subconsciously sabotage it. I was afraid to be happy, because I thought that if I end it first, I wouldn’t feel the pain of abandonment and rejection.

Just like many, I ran from happiness so that I could victimize myself and feel miserable by choice. Please don’t be hard on yourself if you can relate to what I just wrote here. Believe it or not, it’s not your fault. We are human after all, and no one is perfect.

We run from happiness, because we believe it will hurt less if we’re the ones who leave first, that it will be less painful if we quit and break up. It hurts my heart to see people letting go of someone or something that can genuinely make them happy because of that inner fear we might feel pain.

Well, guess what? You’re gonna be hurt anyway.

Go do your thing!

One of the first things Dauntless Inspiration will show you is that it’s impossible to live your life under a protective bell. If you want to be happy, you’ll need to take risks. You’ll need to expand your comfort zone (not leave it completely), and you have to put your heart on your sleeve.

Please remember what I’m about to say. It’s a hundred times better to live your life and be hurt over and over again, than just exist and never feel anything. How are you going to feel joy if you don’t know what sorrow is? How are you going to be happy if you don’t know how to be sad?

One day, you’re going to die. It will end and there’s nothing you can do about it. Go do your thing! Maybe you will fail miserably, and maybe you will succeed, but nothing will happen if you don’t do what you want to do and go where you want to be! One day it will be over, so start living.

If you’re still having doubts about how and where to begin, I got good news for you. You came to the right place to find out. Here at Dauntless, we don’t see a problem, we only see a path to a solution. We don’t know what the word mistake means, because there are no mistakes in life, only lessons. Last but not least, there’s no such thing as impossible in our eyes, only more time to work on it.

Keep following us and we’ll show you now, that’s a promise!

One of my favorite quotes from the movie “Treasure Planet” perfectly depicts the philosophy of Dauntless Inspiration:

“You got the makings of greatness in you, but you gotta take the helm and chart your own course! Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes, you’ll get the chance to really test the cut of your sails and show what you’re made of! Well, I hope I’m there, catching some of the light coming off you that day.” – John Silver

One day it will be over, so start living my dear friends! Go do your thing! 🙂

It’s your turn

What does happiness mean to you? How would you describe it, and do you run away from it when it appears? I would love to hear from in the comments section below!

Xo,

Marko