It’s not easy making friends. It’s difficult meeting someone new. Going through the entire process all over again when you know how many times you’ve been hurt in the past causes a lot of anxiety. Whoever told you time heals everything was wrong. It helps, but some scars remain. I should know.
Always The Outsider
As long as I can remember, I was always the outsider. Being alone is something I embrace as an introvert, but humans are social creatures. We need the presence of those we love the most in our life. But that wasn’t the case in my childhood, especially teen years.
What I’m about to share is something I never talked about publicly. So please forgive me if the words you see seem a little disjointed. It’s taking me everything I got to focus, and not burst into tears (yes, I’m that emotional).
Throughout my life, rarely did I have understanding from those closest to me. That changed couple of years back, but we’re talking about the time when my only friend was, a video game.
The validation and acceptance I desperately wanted never came. So I had to find another way to find lift myself when no else was there. I started playing video games to escape the real world and that seemed to worked, at least for a while.
I had to leave my room sometimes though. The moment that happened I faced mockery, judgment, rejection, and continuous lack of support. The worst part was that I couldn’t talk to anyone, because the society where I grew up in casts aside everyone who is different in any way.
This entire chapter of my life I described above shaped me into the person I am today, and showed me one difficult, but in a way, liberating truth.
It’s Not Easy To Make Friends
It took me almost 30 years to finally reach a point where I have a healthy support system in place. People walk out of our lives for various reasons. Some make sense, some not. So most of us have a difficult time making new friends.
This is not because there’s something wrong with you, or because you’re difficult to love. You’re not too much, and you’re not worthless. None of this is true, and I absolutely refuse to believe it.
The truth is, it’s difficult to connect with other human beings. I’m not talking about small talk or temporary business encounters. I’m talking about that genuine, deep, meaningful connection we want to have with someone.
I’ll be completely honest, there are only three people in my life with whom I managed to create that authentic bond. Even though I deeply respect those from my past that could be on this list, by their own choice they are not longer in my life so they’re not applicable to be included.
It’s not easy to make friends because we’re tired of fake relationships, temporary connections, and people who just want to use us.
However, despite the fact that meeting someone who might just be that friend we were looking for is ridiculously hard, it’s possible. 🙂
So the question is, how will we know?
You’ll Know It When It Happens
There’s no scientific method or a course that will show you how this happens. It just does. So how will you know?
You’ll just know. In you heart, you’ll feel you found this person who will be someone who’ll listen, support, love, understand, and accept you just the way you are. Unconditionally.
Deep within, down to the very core of your soul, you’ll know you found a friend. <3
I’ve put a lot of emotions into this article, so I would love to hear your experiences with making friends in the comment section. Is this difficult for you, too?
P.S When time allows you, check out our private Facebook Group where you’ll be accepted, encouraged, supported, and listened, just the way you are. 🙂