Difficult Truth About Making Friends

Dear friend,

It’s not easy making friends. It’s difficult meeting someone new. Going through the entire process all over again when you know how many times you’ve been hurt in the past causes a lot of anxiety. Whoever told you time heals everything was wrong. It helps, but some scars remain. I should know.

Always The Outsider

As long as I can remember, I was always the outsider. Being alone is something I embrace as an introvert, but humans are social creatures. We need the presence of those we love the most in our life. But that wasn’t the case in my childhood, especially teen years.

What I’m about to share is something I never talked about publicly. So please forgive me if the words you see seem a little disjointed. It’s taking me everything I got to focus, and not burst into tears (yes, I’m that emotional).

Throughout my life, rarely did I have understanding from those closest to me. That changed couple of years back, but we’re talking about the time when my only friend was, a video game.

The validation and acceptance I desperately wanted never came. So I had to find another way to find lift myself when no else was there. I started playing video games to escape the real world and that seemed to worked, at least for a while.

I had to leave my room sometimes though. The moment that happened I faced mockery, judgment, rejection, and continuous lack of support. The worst part was that I couldn’t talk to anyone, because the society where I grew up in casts aside everyone who is different in any way.

This entire chapter of my life I described above shaped me into the person I am today, and showed me one difficult, but in a way, liberating truth.

It’s Not Easy To Make Friends

It took me almost 30 years to finally reach a point where I have a healthy support system in place. People walk out of our lives for various reasons. Some make sense, some not. So most of us have a difficult time making new friends.

This is not because there’s something wrong with you, or because you’re difficult to love. You’re not too much, and you’re not worthless. None of this is true, and I absolutely refuse to believe it.

The truth is, it’s difficult to connect with other human beings. I’m not talking about small talk or temporary business encounters. I’m talking about that genuine, deep, meaningful connection we want to have with someone.

I’ll be completely honest, there are only three people in my life with whom I managed to create that authentic bond. Even though I deeply respect those from my past that could be on this list, by their own choice they are not longer in my life so they’re not applicable to be included.

It’s not easy to make friends because we’re tired of fake relationships, temporary connections, and people who just want to use us.

However, despite the fact that meeting someone who might just be that friend we were looking for is ridiculously hard, it’s possible. πŸ™‚

So the question is, how will we know?

You’ll Know It When It Happens

There’s no scientific method or a course that will show you how this happens. It just does. So how will you know?

You’ll just know. In you heart, you’ll feel you found this person who will be someone who’ll listen, support, love, understand, and accept you just the way you are. Unconditionally.

Deep within, down to the very core of your soul, you’ll know you found a friend. <3

Xo,
Marko


I’ve put a lot of emotions into this article, so I would love to hear your experiences with making friends in the comment section. Is this difficult for you, too?

P.S When time allows you, check out our privateΒ Facebook GroupΒ where you’ll be accepted, encouraged, supported, and listened, just the way you are.Β πŸ™‚

Why We Love To Travel Alone

Hi my friend,

I never left my home country before I was 29. Despite having a highly independent personality, I wish I had more travel adventures in my early 20’s. However, I caught the travel bug, and now I’m constantly thinking about new destinations to visit and feeling inspired to do it as often as I can. But I wasn’t always that motivated.

Traveling wasn’t my cup of tea

It was never easy for me to share even a glimpse of my past. Especially when it comes to my unwillingness to change what bothered me. Like a huge barrier, procrastination was a long-time obstacle for me that I never knew how to overcome.

Living in an environment that encouraged you to never do anything that might make your neighbors think you are weird, I thought I was supposed to follow that rule. Traveling for me seemed like a distant star that I could barely see with a telescope.

So I gave up. I accepted that I will never feel the joy of meeting new people, learn about different cultures, and experience how it feels like to dance my way into the night in an Irish Pub stage (I adore Irish music and Irish dance by the way).

But something happened few years back I did not expect. I became a writer, and a chance to travel opened up for me. The very thought of traveling alone warmed my heart. So I had to ask myself…

Why we love to travel alone?

Like I mentioned at the beginning of this article, I am a fiercely independent person. I do cherish my friends more than anything, but freedom and self-care are now important to me as the air I breathe. Luckily, my close friends feel the same way as I do.

You see, many love to travel alone because we can’t settle. I already made a decision that I’ll stay where I currently am (Calgary, Canada) β€˜till summer. After that, my road will take me to Europe, and later to the US. Traveling on our own fuels that desire to live the life on our own terms, and not having to explain anything to anyone.

Understand, there’s a good number of people out there that felt guilty for a good chunk of their life, just like I did. But when we’re in a plane, thousands of miles in the air, or in a city where no one knows us, we are in our own element. We can always visit our friends and family. But traveling alone is what makes us happy and fulfilled. Which is why I must address something important.

Don’t make home out of people

I’m not saying you shouldn’t love the ones close to you, or that you should be a nomad. But just imagine the situation where you make a home out of someone, and they leave for some reason. I have two people in my life for whom I would put my hand into fire for. But when you make home out someone and that person leaves, you are left homeless. A lesson I had to learn multiple times, the hard way.

Every time when that lesson came, I felt as if a piece of my soul was torn from me. Not many emotions can hurt us more than abandonment. This is why I encourage you to travel alone. It won’t be an easy experience, but you will find the strength you never knew existed in you.

Don’t forget, your home are not people, it’s within you. It’s not a place either. It’s the inner realization that you are enough, no matter where you are, or with whom you are.

Travel whenever you can!

No matter where you choose to go, you are more than capable to handle every road-trip life throws at you. Book a ticket to somewhere you’ve never been before, and give yourself the gift of an exciting adventure! πŸ™‚

Maybe you will meet someone special, and who knows, perhaps you even find your purpose on your next trip. This is the beauty of traveling alone. You are the captain of your ship, and the navigator at the same time.

What are your thoughts?

Do you love traveling alone too? I would love to hear your experience and thoughts! Feel free to share what you think in the comment section below. πŸ™‚

Love,

Marko