Hi my friend,
If there’s one thing I don’t like and constantly try to avoid, its conflict. My personality is peaceful by default, and everything that even resembles an argument I tend to escape from. Upon hearing someone raising their voice, all my senses become highly sensitive, especially if there’s disagreement nearby. Sometimes it won’t be possible for you to leave the vicinity where raised voices are, but there’s something you can do.
Why you should avoid conflict
Few years back when I was on a large conference (I was an event manager back then), there were a lot of politicians, actors, and people from the public life present. Despite the fact that I was part of the organization team, true to my INFJ personality, I was standing near the exit (having a glass of wine which I rarely have), and observing.
At some point, a loud argument started between participants who have a difference in opinion due to their different professions. Instead of simply exchanging thoughts, they started arguing loudly and upsetting everyone else. In all honesty, my first instinct was to head for the nearest exit. But the peacemaker in me kicked in, and I wanted to see what can be done to avoid further escalation of this argument.
What I did then didn’t just calmed the situation down, but it also set the foundation on how would I approach conflict for the future. So now I’ll share with you three effective ways I used back then to peacefully handle what was turning out to be much more than just a difference in opinion.
3 Effective Ways To Avoid Conflict
- Maintain peaceful voice tonality. Whatever happens, don’t raise your voice. It’s a scientific fact that a human mind reacts defensively upon hearing loud noises. Remain calm and calculated, even if you don’t receive the same treatment. You would be surprised how well all sides will react when they hear your soothing words.
- Carefully listen what everyone says. If you want to avoid a conflict escalating, you need to listen everyone’s side of the story. It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, just listen. It will only take few seconds for people around you to calm down when they notice you paying attention to what they say. In today’s world, people listen to reply. So instead, you should listen to understand, which will make all the difference.
- Don’t take sides, acknowledge them. I cannot comprehend how important this is. Of course you will immediately recognize who is right. But the thing is, your goal is to avoid further conflict so only confirm what everyone said and perhaps find common ground. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say your what you think. But the best course of action is to verify what everyone said and seek a connecting thought.The next time when you see an impending argument, try to apply one or all of these techniques. I guarantee they will work! This is why I always encourage everyone to always be that voice of reason. 🙂
Be The Peacemaker
It’s amazing how a calm voice, listening ear, and careful attention can have a huge impact in an argument. Maybe it won’t give all the answers, and probably not everyone will be equally pleased with the solution, but it will bring the situation into our element, which is a constructive conversation.
Conflict can be easily avoided if you remember these three amazing traits: attention, listening, and calmness. Use them whenever you can, and observe the marvelous, positive change they will create! 🙂
Love,
Marko
What do you do to bring peace to an existing argument? What is your experience with this? As always, we would love to hear from you in the comments below!