You Are Who You Choose To Be!

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

It’s painfully difficult to stay true to ourselves in today’s modern world. We are our own worst critics, adding this to the mixture. Every action and spoken word will go through a detailed analysis in our mind before a decision has been made. However, this way of thinking brings us to the next question…

Who are we actually? So…

How do you know who you are?

I had an interesting talk with a taxi driver recently while going to my favorite coffee shop. It’s not a long distance, but he wanted to have a more meaningful talk with me, so being an INFJ I happily accepted. 🙂

It got to a question who we are. He asked me, and I only said, I’m Marko, currently someone who is trying to figure out what is the next chapter of my life, and why I keep giving so much to those who give so little to me.

The taxi driver stopped the car (red light of course), turned his head in disbelief, and was probably thinking I am crazy. Mind you, this is Serbia we are talking about, a small country that is extremely close minded and not open to individual values and qualities. Many don’t even know what being an introvert means.

It was my turn to asking the drive who he is. And of course, he said exactly what I expected him to say. “I’m a taxi driver for 15 years, before that my company fired me, before that I worked in real estate, I have a wife, two kids, I live in a terrible neighborhood…

“This is not who you are” I said. “How so?” he replied. I told him that he only told me what is his career, what happened to him, who he loves, and where he lives, but not who he really is.

“Who are you really, when you are not driving, when you are not with your family, and when you are not in your home”?

I’ll never forget the moment when this elderly man took of his glasses and said: “I don’t know… I guess I forgot…” The sadness in his eyes is something that will stay with me for a long time. Unfortunately, he is not the only one who has this way of thinking…

Here’s the truth…

Many with whom I had the chance to speak with connect who they are with their career. Some with people who are in their life, and others with the place where they are at the moment. None of this defines you. There is zero correlation with what you do, who is your friend or partner, and where you live with who you really are. That conclusion comes from within.

So now I’m going to share with you three scary scenarios why is this mindset so terrifying. What you read here won’t be easy to digest, but I want to show you that you are enough.

  1. My work completes me. Your career and what you do is not a measurement of success. You are not what you do. Let me ask you something. If you are what you do, then what are you when you are doing nothing?
  2. This person is my other half. First of all, you are not a half. You are already a complete whole. It’s wonderful having that special someone, but you don’t need anyone to complete you, because you are already enough, a thousand times enough!
  3. I live in the place of my dreams. There’s nothing wrong in loving the place where you are. But that location is only that, a simple location. If you don’t find peace within first, I promise you, you’ll not find it on the other side of the globe, no matter where you go. Look within, this is your “location”.

Everything you just read wasn’t meant to discourage you, quite the contrary. Let your work fill you with joy, allow that special someone to hug you and feel that love, and give yourself the permission to relocate to a far-away land where you will feel happy. Please do all of that, my dear friend. 🙂

But while you are doing this, I want you to know, you are the only person on the face of the Earth who has that permission to look in the mirror and say: “This is who I am.” No one else can do this for you. Not your family, not your friends, partners, or coworkers, only you.

I guess what I’m trying to tell you is…

YOU ARE WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE!

Love,

Marko

How would you respond if someone asked you: “Who are you?” What would you say? I would love to see your thoughts in the comment section below! 🙂

My Letter To Everyone Who Are Always There

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

It can be so difficult to find people who will actually be there. It took me almost 31 years before I found people who are always there for me, no matter what. But the road to reaching that point was more difficult that I could have ever imagined. The reason was simple.

I Was The Only One Who Was Always There

In the past, I was the one who would send that first message or start the conversation. It doesn’t matter how close I was to that person, if I would stop reaching out and being there, I would never hear from them ever again.

This pattern kept repeating itself to the point where I started losing hope that something will ever change for the better. But this wasn’t just about mere presence. The lack of response triggered deep traumas from my past.

Even though I had what you call a regular childhood, that was only a mirage. The reality was that I felt lonely for most of my life. Imagine writing something that’s important to you to someone close only to never receive a response, or get one after a few days with only a nonchalant: “Oh I forgot to respond back.”

Understand, this was something that was happening for years to me. I almost decided one day few years back that I don’t need anyone, and that I’m okay on my own. Luckily, I was wrong regarding that. But I still felt like I’m a merely option to everyone back then.

Because I don’t want you to go through what I did, here’s a small letter to You who are always there.

My Letter To Everyone Who Are always There

I just returned from a small weekend getaway where I took some time to recharge, and hear my own thoughts for the first time in a long time. I’m a firm believer that we sometimes need to silence the external world in order to hear our own clearer.

However, even though I was mostly offline, I kept communicating with only one person on a regular basis. Apart from this amazing human, I made a conscious decision not to message with almost anyone else, as like I said, I needed time to re-align myself.

I had so many incredibly meaningful conversations with this amazing human during my weekend getaway from social media. The surefire way you can know when these talks are impactful is when you completely lose the track of time.

It’s when you forget about the fact you ordered food half an hour ago and you’re perfectly okay with it because you received and are listening a lovely new song, or laughing at a wonderful meme they sent you. It’s when you need help choosing the right sweater (Yes, I’m terrible at shopping for myself lol), and you get complete support in choosing the right one after just one message. 🙂

Because of this, and so many other reasons that would need at least a thousand more pages for me to write to explain it, I’m there for this wonderful person no matter what happens. And I want to tell you something. Be there for those incredible souls like the one I just described, always.

You know why?

Because you’re going to forget all about those who left. You won’t think twice about those who hurt you, or even blink at the mention of the ones who told you you were too much. You will simply be too busy being there for those who are there for you too.

Please trust that you will find the people who will grace you with their full presence and attention. I know it might not look like that right now, but I promise you this.

There will come a day when you will be tired, overwhelmed, exhausted, and upset, but then you’ll look at your phone and see:

“I’m here.”

And everything you went through will be worth it just by seeing these two words. 🙂

Love,
Marko

Do you have people in your life who are there for you as much as you are for them? What’s your experience with this? I would love to hear from you in the comments below! 🙂

Why Is Setting Goals So Important?

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

One of the greatest feats of strength is our ability to set goals and relentlessly work on them. The sheer thrill of knowing that our dreams are possible to accomplish makes us happy beyond recognition. If happiness can be described through one action, I believe this would be it. However, there’s a crucial component many disregard to acknowledge upon starting to search for that bigger why.

You Have Time To Reach Your Goal

The excitement of a challenge can boost our creativity, ambition, motivation, and especially our determination. However, there’s something that can hinder this wonderful feeling. It’s the realization that some goals might not happen right away. The idea of an constant sprint running down this imaginary racetrack is often unrealistic, because knowing more time is needed is essential. So I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m not a patient person.

You need to accept the fact that more time is needed to reach that goal. I can perfectly understand that you want it right here and right now, but if you speed things up, a whole lot of bad things will happen. You might overwhelm yourself, loose your health, and even the sight of that dream you have. And this is just to name a few.

There are all kinds of emotions that’ll try finding their way into our mind when we pursue our goals, including: fear, anxiety, overwhelm, even panic. Then we’ll start asking questions like: “Why is this happening to me?” or “Why things didn’t work out like I planned, and when I planned?”. Ring a bell? Well they made me feel nauseous.

So what would be a good solution for making your most precious dream a reality without all the negative aspects that journey brings?
How can we approach this situation, and preserve our peace of mind at the same time?

Stop Rushing Yourself!

The first thing you have to do is, stop rushing yourself. Everything will happen in the exact moment when it’s supposed to happen, and not a minute sooner. If you speed it up, you will miss out the present moment my friends. And what good is reaching that finishing line if you don’t enjoy what happens before that?

Slow down, take a breather, and then continue. Second, when you set out to do something, and as long as you’re not hurting anyone in any way, move the mountains themselves to do it. If your goal hasn’t arrived yet, it’s because it’s not in season, but it will come. That I assure you.

Last but not least, the third thing you have to do is believe that what you’re going through right now is happening for a reason. I know, this is such a cliché advice. But please hear me out. Everything that is happening, what happened, was/is there to prepare you for everything you are seeking. This is your training camp, and your warm up practice before the big game.

You will reach your goals, have no doubt about it. They are not going anywhere because they are yours, and no one can take them away from you. Whatever it is you are searching right now, is searching you, too!

You may have to face the most difficult test of your life to make that dream a reality. But few feelings and emotions are equal to how you will feel knowing you actually did it. And we know you will. 🙂

So, as we at Dauntless Inspiration always say: GO DO YOUR THING!

Xo,

Marko

Where are you now when it comes to reaching that main goal you have? How do you feel about the journey you’re on to get to it? We would love to hear from you in the comments below! 🙂

Why We Sabotage Our Own Happiness

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friends,

We tend to have a bad habit of sabotaging ourselves when we’re at a good point in our life. It’s as if we’re actively searching for a self-destruct button every time when we are happy. Self-sabotage has it’s root deeply embedded into the core of every personality types. Understanding why we do this is a bit tricky, but it can be conquered and understood.

Why do we sabotage ourselves?

The main reason why we sabotage our own happiness may be difficult to hear. It took me quite a while to accept it, but once I did, I managed to end this vicious circle. It’s because most of us want for everyone to be happy, but that we are somehow excluded from it. So when happiness finds us, we start overthinking because we think we’re not worthy to feel it.

The primary focus should be to fully enjoy these joyful moments, but we choose something else. Does this sound familiar: “This is good, but I should be careful, maybe something bad is coming…” And there you have it our friends, instant recipe for overthinking. We completely disregard our own success, and replace it with overthinking and sabotaging thoughts.

I sabotaged almost every win I ever had. It doesn’t matter how meaningful it was, I always thought that something bad is looking at me behind the corner. So instead of being genuinely happy, I disregarded what I achieved, and went into caution mode to avoid any possible disappointment that may come.

Guided by my own self-sabotage experiences from the past, I want to tell you…

Be happy in the now

There’s no such thing as a small or a big achievement. Every victory you experience, personal or a business, is meaningful! Don’t rank it by size, because you will only succeed in shrinking yourself. You did it, you won, so stop there. Don’t go further. You did all you could, where you were, and with what you had. You did more than enough.

As I mentioned, in the past I always sabotaged what I did. I just couldn’t make myself to be happy for my accomplishments. However, I started nurturing myself after every win, instead of seeking what I could have done to improve it. When you reach your goal, when you just enjoy what you did, embrace it with no add-ons.

The best way I found to conquer self-sabotage is through a simple exercise that’ll only take you 5 min.

Look around you and where you are now. You’re reading this article, which means you’re safe. Nothing bad is happening to you right now at this very moment. Acknowledge that you are not in any danger, and don’t think what will happen tomorrow. In this present moment, you are good. Please repeat this as many times as you need until you remember it.

Ground yourself in your current location, because this mindset shift will help you accept the reality. You are safe, and you can be happy.

Sometimes, our biggest wins come from quietest moments.

Self-Sabotage is not your default state

As you’re looking around your room, or a coffee shop, or nature, nothing bad is happening to you. So now your mind has the space to be happy with what you achieved.

You’re probably asking yourself: “But Marko, I’m not sure what I achieved?”

Aren’t you still here? You’re breathing and your existence is making someone happy whether you see it or not. Wins don’t always come in forms of promotions, money, or career… Sometimes, they’re as gentle as reading a message from a loved one telling you how much they love you, or having that peaceful sip of coffee in the morning.

Give yourself the permission to smile about the things most people never notice. When you do, self-sabotage will never again take a hold over you, because you’ll always know what you need to do to make it go away.

So the next time when you win and feel fulfilled, close the door on those self-sabotaging thoughts. Open the window for happiness to come in. It’s your birthright to be happy and bathed with the rays of joy for who you are! 🙂

Xo,

Marko

Do you tend to sabotage your success? What are your thoughts on this topic? We would love to hear from you in the comments below!