I’m sorry, I don’t want to bother you.
Does this sound familiar? I honestly don’t know how many times I’ve said this sentence myself. In a strange way, it’s imprinted in my mind, and I’m always on the alert when it comes out to the surface. If you are an empath, or even a HSP (highly sensitive person), you can see how the words mentioned above trigger a lot of unpleasant emotions.
I’m sorry, I don’t want to bother you
So, to get straight to the point, there are two main reasons that are the cause and root of why we think we actually bother people.
1. We think they will abandon us. Many of us faced abandonment at some point in their life. And I’m no different. So when we meet someone and start to open up more and more, fear of abandonment comes into the fray. We constantly analyze what we say, how we say it, is this enough or not, is my message okay, and the list goes on. Our overthinking mind tirelessly monitors our actions, and the pressure can be incredibly overwhelming.
2. We don’t want to burden anyone. So many of us know all too well how it feels to be misunderstood and overwhelmed. To avoid this, we become so careful not to do something like that to the person we care about. That causes self-sabotage, since our brain will sometimes rather sabotage a potential friendship or a relationship, than to feel guilty about overwhelming anyone in any way. It’s like an enchanted circle that hurts, and closes our heart to the point where few people are ever able to open it again.
That’s why we’re here to remind you…
You’re not too much!
You must allow this thought to enter your mind. You are not bothering anyone! It took me years to figure this out, because the thing is, your care and concern is what people need. Many are so used to be treated badly, that when they come across someone who is so caring and understanding as you are, they get scared by it.
But that’s not your fault. It’s not your job to save everyone. What you can do is, continue to care with all your heart. Of course you will get hurt and of course some people will leave, but your life is not tied to the ones who do. Let them go. Let them exit at the next train station, and focus on the ones who are with you on this train to the end.
Don’t stop caring because someone was unable to appreciate it. If there’s something I learned, it’s that you will be too much for some people. They are not your people. As certain as the dawn, I can promise you, you will find those who will return that feedback, and give you that beautiful care and love you so earned. 🙂
One more time…
There’s nothing wrong with you, there never was. No matter how many people left, they only did that to free the space for the right ones to enter your life. These souls will stay for the ride, because they will see what I see in you while I’m writing this.
I see a kind, caring, and an understanding human being that you are. You are not bothering anyone. <3
Is the topic of this article something you can relate with? I would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments below!