Hi friends,
Social gatherings can be incredibly scary. Some meet-ups can bring us joy, but they can also bring overwhelm. It’s not about spending huge chunks of time in crowded places filled with people, we can handle that. Of course we love spending time with those we love, but we also need to be alone with our own thoughts too. That’s why I have a confession.
I love spending meaningful dates alone
First of all, a disclaimer. I love being in the company of those who I see as my family and closest friends. Nothing fills my heart with joy more than seeing friends I haven’t seen for a long time, giving them a hug, and enjoy having meaningful conversations with them.
However, a few years back, I made a decision to start spending meaningful dates alone. One of the reasons why is because I didn’t want to wait for certain days to see the ones I care for. If I want to see someone and if they want to see me, no distance will be too much or too exhausting for us to meet.
I also chose to spend time with those who see me as an important part of their life and not just an option among many. I know the pain of being in a crowded social gathering and feeling more lonely than ever. So I decided, no more of that.
It can be painful to see all those pictures on social networks of happy families being together. We’re human after all. But inner peace plays a huge role in my life, and I would rather be alone, than with those who will completely drain my energy.
If you are having an impending social gathering of any kind, here’s few useful and tested insights you can use to survive it. 🙂
How to survive a social gathering
Before you even go, it’s crucial that you plan your day before the event starts. Clear your schedule and make room for self-care. Maybe you can’t take a day off work, but you can dedicate the rest of the day to yourself.
Choose to do only what makes you feel replenished. For me, that’s playing video games, stargazing, and of course reading and writing. You see, I’m an introvert, and we know that social gathering will probably drain our batteries. This is why taking the time to replenish before everything starts helps so much.
When you are already there, I want you to remember this. You are not obligated to talk to everyone all the time. Just because you showed up doesn’t mean you have to be constantly “on”. Make a bathroom break, go outside for a minute, and get some fresh air. No one will say anything, and even if they do, you don’t need to pay attention to it.
How much you stay depends solely up to you. Please don’t fall under the pressure that you are a party pooper. You don’t owe anything to anyone. You made a decision to come, and only you are responsible when you’ll return home.
During huge family gatherings, those who want to have a breather alone can be an easy prey to that chatty relatives. Even if you find yourself surrounded by them, know that you can leave whenever you choose. And no, you won’t insult anyone, not if they really appreciate and know you.
What to do if you still get overwhelmed
Give yourself the permission to walk away from any social gathering that depletes your energy. You’re not selfish or arrogant, you just need to recharge. I had situations when my family didn’t understand my introverted nature. Of course I felt guilty, so I’m glad I can now tell you this:
You are not hurting anyone by choosing to take care of yourself.
Your true friends will understand. If they don’t, well, it’s time that you consider making some changes in your friendship circle.
Don’t blame yourself for choosing to love who you are. Whether you see it or not, you’re already giving so much of yourself to everyone and that’s a fact. So I think you earned the right to be there for you a little bit.
Meaningful dates can be rough, especially if you have many relatives and friends coming over. But whatever you choose to do, don’t forget to accept the fact that it’s your decision will you have a great time or a draining one.
I hope you’ll make a decision to look after yourself whenever a draining social gathering comes. You owe yourself that my dear friend. 🙂
It’s your turn
What are your thoughts on big social gatherings? How are you handling them? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below, I would love to hear from you!
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Xo,
Marko
