How To Know When Enough Is Enough

Dear friend,

Nothing is more powerful than a clear, conscious determination. When we want to reach a goal, few things can deter us from it. As long as we’re not hurting anyone in any way, we shouldn’t give up, because it’s in our DNA to make a difference and go that extra mile. But you need to know when to stop if what you want to accomplish is overwhelming you. Sometimes, knowing enough is enough can be difficult to see.  

Knowing when enough is enough

Don’t confuse knowing when to stop with surrendering. Stopping is not the same as giving up. When you give up on something or someone, that’s something truly unimaginable for the majority of us. It’s in human nature to stay connected and do what we can to fix the situation. But withdrawing from a person or a career that is toxic and is overwhelming us is something else entirely.

Learning how to stop can be a lifelong challenge, no mistake about it. I know so many people who are hardcore idealists, but this is how problems with knowing when its’ enough tend to appear. That persistence can blind us from seeing when enough is enough.  

When you tell yourself that you had enough of that toxic treatment from someone, or moments when you are humiliated by your boss or coworkers, that’s called courage. You’re not giving up, you are actually protecting yourself in the bravest way possible.

When you decide to withdraw in peace instead of getting into a heated argument, that’s called strength. So the question needs to be asked…

When is a good time to stop?

It depends from person to person. For example, I found out I have the rarest personality type (INFJ) when I was 25 years old. Before my INFJ finding, I played the extroverted role for so long, that I actually didn’t believe when my MBTI result showed that I’m an INFJ.

A small side-note here, many people I admire in life are extroverts, so this is in no way me saying that’s a bad thing. Actually, the INFJ personality is called the extroverted introvert. 🙂

So for me, the crucial moment was when I stopped wearing masks and fully accepted myself instead. Of course I have moments when I doubt myself. But when I decided that I had enough of pretending I’m someone else, and stopped chasing something that might look good on the surface, but could harm me in the future, everything changed.

It all looks easy when it’s written like this, does it? But let me assure you, in order for you to blossom, you need to let some people go, at least those who are toxic. I learned that I need to follow my heart and believe what my mind tells me, even if I’m alone in it. So I stopped following the crowd and started listening myself.

How will we know?

There’s no such a thing as a good time to know when enough is enough. You create that moment yourself. It’s similar when someone tells you: “I’ll do this when I’m ready”. The truth is that if you wait for the perfect moment, it will never come. There’s no such thing. It’s always a good time to do what is right, and in our case, to choose ourselves.

You’re not giving up on anyone. Some people will be against you no matter what you do, and you will be judged regardless of what you do. It’s up to you to decide will you continue that pointless pursuit, or say to yourself: “Stop, that’s enough.”

I hope you choose yourself my dear friend, because you are enough, even if there’s no one there to acknowledge it. <3

Much love,

Marko

P.S When time allows you, please feel free to join our official and private Facebook Group (now over 250 members, yay!) where you’ll be fully accepted and supported, just the way you are. We would love to see you there! 🙂

What are your thoughts on knowing when to stop and letting go? How do you handle this? We would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below!

I Don’t Play Games, Speak Your Mind!

Dear friend,

I never liked playing games. When I say games, I mean the ones where someone is literally playing with our feelings and emotions. Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to have fun sometimes, no harm in that. But the kind of games I’m talking about here always send a chill through my spine.

I don’t play games, speak your mind

The explanation for getting to the point preference comes from our trait that searches for meaning and purpose. I must emphasize once more, we love having a good laugh. But there’s a difference between fun and hurting someone. Allow me to explain.

Imagine this scenario: You like someone and you are sending signals to that person that you like them. You start letting them know this in your own unique way. But they are playing with your mind, sending mixed messages, or late-responsive ones with unclear reasons why, childish sentences, and the list goes on and on.

The situation above happened to me more times than I can count. This is why I’m always crystal clear with my intentions. I don’t play mind games that will hurt anyone’s feelings and emotions. Instead, I always insist for that individual to speak their mind and be completely honest.

I want you to remember what I’m about to say. The worst truth will hurt less than the best lie.

So the question is, why this type of behavior doesn’t suit us? Why it’s more repelling than attracting?

Honesty is attractive

The answer is because we like authenticity. We value honesty, respect, and understanding. We also fully realize that there is a small amount of people who will give us that feedback at the same level that we so selflessly give. So we just want from that person to honor how we feel and be frank with us.

There are many people that are always open for jokes and fun. But that needs to be only until the point where our emotions are not being toyed with. I consider myself to have a very broad and weird sense of humor, but I can’t laugh over a fact that someone uses my kindness in a negative way.

It doesn’t matter how young or old you are, this behavior can be universal. And in most cases, there’s no bad intent behind it. I want to believe that people mean no harm when they sometimes make jokes about how we feel. But there’s a thin line between understanding and insult.

This is why honesty can be so damn attractive! Tell us what the situation really is, and don’t play with how we feel. This acts like a magnet that will draw us closer to you. But we all have our limits when it comes to hurtful behavior. There’s an incredible quote from a famous Canadian poet Najwa Zebian that perfectly explains how we react to coldness, mean jokes, and indifference:

“Fear the day a good heart gives up on you. A heart does not turn cold unless it’s been treated with coldness for a while.”

Your heart can withstand so much, and that’s the truth. It can sustain enormous levels of being hurt, and still find a way to shine and spread the light. I like comparing it with a lighthouse that shows the way. 🙂

So give that gentle, light-spreading miracle in your chest a gift in the form of a presence of someone who will not toy with it, but cherish it. You earned that kindness. <3

Xo,

Marko


How do you cope when someone makes jokes about your emotions? What’s your defense mechanism? We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!