How To Know When Enough Is Enough

Dear friend,

Nothing is more powerful than a clear, conscious determination. When we want to reach a goal, few things can deter us from it. As long as we’re not hurting anyone in any way, we shouldn’t give up, because it’s in our DNA to make a difference and go that extra mile. But you need to know when to stop if what you want to accomplish is overwhelming you. Sometimes, knowing enough is enough can be difficult to see.  

Knowing when enough is enough

Don’t confuse knowing when to stop with surrendering. Stopping is not the same as giving up. When you give up on something or someone, that’s something truly unimaginable for the majority of us. It’s in human nature to stay connected and do what we can to fix the situation. But withdrawing from a person or a career that is toxic and is overwhelming us is something else entirely.

Learning how to stop can be a lifelong challenge, no mistake about it. I know so many people who are hardcore idealists, but this is how problems with knowing when its’ enough tend to appear. That persistence can blind us from seeing when enough is enough.  

When you tell yourself that you had enough of that toxic treatment from someone, or moments when you are humiliated by your boss or coworkers, that’s called courage. You’re not giving up, you are actually protecting yourself in the bravest way possible.

When you decide to withdraw in peace instead of getting into a heated argument, that’s called strength. So the question needs to be asked…

When is a good time to stop?

It depends from person to person. For example, I found out I have the rarest personality type (INFJ) when I was 25 years old. Before my INFJ finding, I played the extroverted role for so long, that I actually didn’t believe when my MBTI result showed that I’m an INFJ.

A small side-note here, many people I admire in life are extroverts, so this is in no way me saying that’s a bad thing. Actually, the INFJ personality is called the extroverted introvert. 🙂

So for me, the crucial moment was when I stopped wearing masks and fully accepted myself instead. Of course I have moments when I doubt myself. But when I decided that I had enough of pretending I’m someone else, and stopped chasing something that might look good on the surface, but could harm me in the future, everything changed.

It all looks easy when it’s written like this, does it? But let me assure you, in order for you to blossom, you need to let some people go, at least those who are toxic. I learned that I need to follow my heart and believe what my mind tells me, even if I’m alone in it. So I stopped following the crowd and started listening myself.

How will we know?

There’s no such a thing as a good time to know when enough is enough. You create that moment yourself. It’s similar when someone tells you: “I’ll do this when I’m ready”. The truth is that if you wait for the perfect moment, it will never come. There’s no such thing. It’s always a good time to do what is right, and in our case, to choose ourselves.

You’re not giving up on anyone. Some people will be against you no matter what you do, and you will be judged regardless of what you do. It’s up to you to decide will you continue that pointless pursuit, or say to yourself: “Stop, that’s enough.”

I hope you choose yourself my dear friend, because you are enough, even if there’s no one there to acknowledge it. <3

Much love,

Marko

P.S When time allows you, please feel free to join our official and private Facebook Group (now over 250 members, yay!) where you’ll be fully accepted and supported, just the way you are. We would love to see you there! 🙂

What are your thoughts on knowing when to stop and letting go? How do you handle this? We would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below!

You Can’t Save Everyone

Dear friend,

If you’re like most people, you want to save everyone. Who can blame you? Like most of us, when you see something is broken, you want to fix it. You see someone is in pain, you want to help them. It’s part of who you are. Now you’re probably thinking: “But this is what I should do, I need to be there for everyone who need me”. Well not exactly. Hear me out.

You cannot save everyone

We want to make sure that not just the people we cherish the most are safe, but also the ones around us, and pretty much everybody we meet. Whatever bad you see is happening in today’s world, it’s in human nature to try and help. However, this is when problems start to appear.

This is the unspoken truth and something you might not want to hear, but I’ll be crazy direct and honest.  You can’t save everyone, and you shouldn’t. You cannot change anyone, and you shouldn’t even try. Period.

Believe me when I say, I tried. I gave it everything I got to save my potential partners from themselves, to save my friends from their own toxic thoughts, and even my family from all the arguments. I want this article to be eye-opening for you my dear friend, because it’s not your duty to fix anyone.

I’m 31 now, and I was always the one who would try to solve and repair everything. So as weird as this sounds, I’m glad I can’t make everything right. It was a burden my shoulders could never carry. You need to remember…

People don’t need to be saved

You need someone in your life who won’t need your constant help and presence. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean you should be careless and distant, but you need to understand, it’s not your job to be there for everyone all the time. The painful truth is, many people don’t want to be saved.

Many are so enjoying being the victim and nothing you do will change that pattern of behavior. You’ll actually meet heavy resistance. I had my fair share of relationships and friendships in the past when I was only called when someone needed something or when things got bad.

When everything was good, it’s like I never existed. Don’t allow yourself to be in that position, because one person needs you more than anyone else…

YOU!

Be there for the ones you love the most, but never forget to put yourself as a priority. I’ll now share something personal with you, and I’m a little nervous being this vulnerable. A good number of people contacted me in recent weeks, seeking my attention. I haven’t spoken with most of them for many months and even years.

So I decided, as much as every atom of my body wanted to, to not act on that feeling and help everyone who reached out. I chose to be there for myself, the ones who are there for me, and those who were by my side when no one else was. At that moment, I felt a sense of freedom I haven’t felt in a long time.

I felt guilty at the beginning though. But I made a conscious choice to focus on the ones who actually make the effort to reach out and show me that they care for me, too. By prioritizing the ones who see me as an important part of their life, I made myself a priority too.

Now I give my energy (which levels are drastically increased by the way) only to the few who earned it, and they return it to me in abundance. I want to make a difference in this world and reach out to as many people as possible, but I’ll always put myself first. Not because I’m selfish or arrogant, but because in the end, how will you help someone, if you can’t help yourself, dearest? <3

Love,

Marko

Have you ever been called a savior? Can you relate with what I wrote in this article? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Establishing Healthy Boundaries: The Ultimate Self-Care Act

Hi friends,

Establishing healthy boundaries is vital for our self-care. This action alone can save us from so much negativity, external pressure, and draw lines we should never cross. However, it’s always easier said than done. But you need to establish these boundaries, no matter how difficult they may seem at first glance.

Why we need healthy boundaries

Have you ever watched the movie with Jim Carrey “Yes Man”? Well if you didn’t, spoiler alert. The main character is filled with constant business and lack of self-respect, so one day he decides to say yes to every request he’s been given (I was there, too). Without going into the reasons why he did this, I’ll tell you why this would be an absolute disaster.

Saying yes to everything and everyone is a clear example of the lack of boundaries. If you’re having trouble with this, please don’t blame yourself, because you haven’t done anything wrong. You are just a compassionate and understanding human, and you would rather sacrifice your own well-being than cause a potential conflict, which is perfectly reasonable. But you need to draw a line somewhere.

When you say no to going out into a crowded, noisy pub, or when you say no to a social gathering where you know you will be overwhelmed, you are saying yes to yourself. You are saying yes to spending the night watching Netflix and eating ice cream, simply enjoying. You are saying yes to sweet solitude or the company of that one special person with whom you can talk about the stars or your favorite book characters. You are saying yes to what you really want to do. 🙂

This is why we need to create healthy boundaries.

It’s not your job to indulge everyone

Establishing healthy boundaries is not just about saying no, it goes much deeper. It’s when you say to your dearest ones you need some time alone, and when you need time to figure out and handle your emotions. This is one of the ultimate act of self-care we need to give ourselves.

Your true friends, the people who are meant to stay in your life will never think about your boundary as a selfish act. They will fully respect and honor it, and those who don’t? Well, then you have to ask yourself is this the friendship or a relationship that I want in my life.

It’s not your job to indulge everyone and to say yes to every demand. This is a one way ticket to overwhelm, anxiety, and lack of self-respect. When you’re saying no to something you know it will not feel comfortable, you’re saying yes to yourself and opening the doors for doing what makes you happy.

Remember, those who genuinely love you will never take your “no” as an insult. They will accept it as a sign of respect. Most importantly, they will understand, and these are the people you should have in your life.

So the next time when you’re about to make an important decision, put yourself first my dear friend. You’re not arrogant, you’re simply giving yourself the same attention that you so selflessly give to everyone else. You earned that respect from you, too.

Give a little kindness to yourself by creating boundaries that will not just benefit you and your gentle being, but also deepen those connections you have with the people you cherish the most. It will be worth it. 🙂

Love,

Marko

What’s your experience with creating healthy boundaries? As always, we would love to hear your thoughts and insights on this in the comments below!