How To Easily Overcome Perfectionism

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Dear friend,

Overcoming perfectionism is one of those goals we believe it’s nearly impossible to overcome. Not because it’s some kind of an invincible force, but because perfectionism carries a burden heavier and more difficult than most emotions. And we are all about learning, improving, and moving forward. I am a perfectionist myself sometimes, I admit it. But I found an effective and an easy way to overcome it.

Overcoming perfectionism through acceptance

Imagine you are a main character in a video game. We all know that in every video game there’s a main quest you need to complete, and then there are optional ones. When you finish the main story, you win, and the game thanks you for your time and rewards you in some way. Good feeling, right? But there’s something you feel is missing still.

Remember the optional quests? As with overcoming perfectionism, your thoughts that are not vital for your daily decision making are preventing you to be fully happy you reach your destination. It should be enough that you completed the task. But you sense you’re not fully satisfied. Your mind simply didn’t have enough. You haven’t completed the optional quest, so now you feel that what you did is mediocre.

You feel as if you didn’t do a good job. So you start being hard on yourself, how could you miss something like this, and why it’s still not enough. Surely, the result would be much better if you did everything perfectly? Wrong. I deliberately used a video game example because at the end of every game when you complete the main story, you’ve won! No questions asked. It was enough, accept that. Same with overcoming perfectionism.

You did more than enough

Overcoming perfectionism is not about doing every single detail, task, or a quest, and bringing it to a perfection, because there’s no such thing. There is no such thing as perfect. My dear friend and one of the founders of Dauntless Inspiration, Giselle, always tells me to give it my all, but that I should be happy with the result, no matter what it is, period. Her wise words finally found their way into my mind.

Like the main character in our video game, you did your best and you gave your maximum. That is enough. Please don’t get me wrong, going that extra mile is important, but not at the price of your health and happiness. When you finish a task, don’t doubt the result. Instead acknowledge that you did everything which was in your power to complete it.

Overcoming perfectionism is all about recognizing that your effort gave you the result you wanted. You must understand, there’s a difference between going the extra mile, and just pushing yourself for no good reason. I should know, because I used to push myself beyond my breaking point regularly which only caused overwhelm and anxiety.

Remember, it’s okay to strive towards the best possible solution. But please don’t lose yourself in that journey. What good is the result if you are just too overwhelmed and tired to enjoy it in the end?

Pat yourself on the back, because you did enough. Enjoy in what you accomplished, smile, and be happy about it. You deserve that smile. 😊

Love,

Marko

Are you a perfectionist? What’s your experience with perfectionism? We would love to hear from you in the comments below!

How To Survive A Draining Social Gathering

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Hi friends,

Social gatherings can be incredibly scary. Some meet-ups can bring us joy, but they can also bring overwhelm. It’s not about spending huge chunks of time in crowded places filled with people, we can handle that. Of course we love spending time with those we love, but we also need to be alone with our own thoughts too. That’s why I have a confession.

I love spending meaningful dates alone

First of all, a disclaimer. I love being in the company of those who I see as my family and closest friends. Nothing fills my heart with joy more than seeing friends I haven’t seen for a long time, giving them a hug, and enjoy having meaningful conversations with them.

However, a few years back, I made a decision to start spending meaningful dates alone. One of the reasons why is because I didn’t want to wait for certain days to see the ones I care for. If I want to see someone and if they want to see me, no distance will be too much or too exhausting for us to meet.

I also chose to spend time with those who see me as an important part of their life and not just an option among many. I know the pain of being in a crowded social gathering and feeling more lonely than ever. So I decided, no more of that.

It can be painful to see all those pictures on social networks of happy families being together. We’re human after all. But inner peace plays a huge role in my life, and I would rather be alone, than with those who will completely drain my energy.

If you are having an impending social gathering of any kind, here’s few useful and tested insights you can use to survive it. 🙂

How to survive a social gathering

Before you even go, it’s crucial that you plan your day before the event starts. Clear your schedule and make room for self-care. Maybe you can’t take a day off work, but you can dedicate the rest of the day to yourself.

Choose to do only what makes you feel replenished. For me, that’s playing video games, stargazing, and of course reading and writing. You see, I’m an introvert, and we know that social gathering will probably drain our batteries. This is why taking the time to replenish before everything starts helps so much.

When you are already there, I want you to remember this. You are not obligated to talk to everyone all the time. Just because you showed up doesn’t mean you have to be constantly “on”. Make a bathroom break, go outside for a minute, and get some fresh air. No one will say anything, and even if they do, you don’t need to pay attention to it.

How much you stay depends solely up to you. Please don’t fall under the pressure that you are a party pooper. You don’t owe anything to anyone. You made a decision to come, and only you are responsible when you’ll return home.

During huge family gatherings, those who want to have a breather alone can be an easy prey to that chatty relatives. Even if you find yourself surrounded by them, know that you can leave whenever you choose. And no, you won’t insult anyone, not if they really appreciate and know you.

What to do if you still get overwhelmed

Give yourself the permission to walk away from any social gathering that depletes your energy. You’re not selfish or arrogant, you just need to recharge. I had situations when my family didn’t understand my introverted nature. Of course I felt guilty, so I’m glad I can now tell you this:

You are not hurting anyone by choosing to take care of yourself.

Your true friends will understand. If they don’t, well, it’s time that you consider making some changes in your friendship circle.

Don’t blame yourself for choosing to love who you are. Whether you see it or not, you’re already giving so much of yourself to everyone and that’s a fact. So I think you earned the right to be there for you a little bit.

Meaningful dates can be rough, especially if you have many relatives and friends coming over. But whatever you choose to do, don’t forget to accept the fact that it’s your decision will you have a great time or a draining one.

I hope you’ll make a decision to look after yourself whenever a draining social gathering comes. You owe yourself that my dear friend. 🙂

It’s your turn

What are your thoughts on big social gatherings? How are you handling them? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below, I would love to hear from you!

If you want to be regularly updated with our newest self-development articles, insights and advice, subscribe and be informed about everything we do at Dauntless Inspiration! Did I mention you’ll also get a FREE exercise to precisely pinpoint which area of your life is your greatest strength when you subscribe? 🙂

Xo,

Marko

3 key reasons why Self-Development needs to be your priority

Posted on by Marko Kircanski

Hi friends,

Few things matter more in life than establishing priorities. Because we’re all different, we are bound to focus on all sorts of things that’ll make that difference for us. For some, it’s career, solitude, while for others it’s nurturing relationships, while some seek balance. However, not many have fully mastered the skill of focusing on something that they see as a healthy, primary goal in life.

Why Self-Development needs to be a priority

As much as humans are social creatures, we need to spend time in solitude too. Part of that time needs to be spent in resting and recuperating. However, we can also do something that not many are prepared to do unfortunately.

Self-Development makes such an important difference because it gives us the chance to improve so many aspects of who we are. It doesn’t matter whether you want to work on your daily habits, change your way of thinking, or improve your communication, it’s all vital for your development as a person.

When I was a teenager and going through the most difficult time in my life (bullying, lack of support from my family, and no friends at all), I didn’t realize how much working on myself would be beneficial. In a way, I was avoiding to admit it was time for me to turn inwards a little bit more. So I was stagnating in every sense of the word, allowing the toxic environment to swallow me without even trying to resist.

Please know, I understand that sometimes circumstances can be so hard that the last thing on our mind is self-development and making it a priority. We just want to survive the day and reach the comfort of our bed. Trust me, I’ve been there. But that’s why this inner work is so vital, because it gives you a chance to encourage and lift yourself up, even when there’s no one there to help you do it.

For that reason, I’m sharing with you three critical reasons why Self-Development needs to be your priority.

1. You’ll find your purpose and your bigger why in life. When you start focusing on what you really want to do and where you want to be, it’s inevitable for you to find your purpose. By continuously working on that dream and goal of yours, you’re allowing the universe to open doors you never knew existed.

2. You’ll attract other like-minded souls who will support you. No matter what you believe in, whether it’s God, Universe, Karma, or Energy, your actions and behavior will attract others who will share your values. Self-Development is like a universal call to everyone who wants to support you on this journey, and that’s exactly what you’ll get.  🙂

3. You’ll find your calling. There are so many people who are unhappy with what they do. But when you actively work on what makes your heart sing, that career you have been waiting for will find it’s way to you through just one simple email, phone call, or a message. This is not something that “might” happen, but rather something that will happen.

Remind yourself that we maybe can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can choose how to react to it. By making Self-Development one of your priorities, you’re giving yourself permission to reach something most people never manage to do. It’s to experience that ever-elusive victory within.

Here at Dauntless inspiration, we will actively encourage you to be who you are, regardless of what anyone else says or does. You’re not selfish by focusing on yourself, because you earned that right. The right people, the ones who are meant to be in your life will support you in this noble quest.

Co-Founder of DI, Giselle Loayza and I are one of them. You are not alone my friend. 🙂

It’s your turn

Where is Self-Development on your priority list? How important it is for you? As always, we would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. 🙂

Xo,

Marko